Thursday, October 11, 2007

returning home...

I've come to the conclusion that my poor quality scanner does not like copying images done in oil pastel (or more like anything at all). However, five days without internet and posting these pages from my journal is the best I have to offer.

I keep a journal on a regular basis, but I must say, I especially enjoyed drawing and writing the musings of my mind these past several days. Besides drinking my morning cup of coffee, it was the one thing that I did religiously and with great anticipation every day. I missed blogs and blogging, but the Be Brave project never left my mind, not even once. {click the image on the left if you want to read the condensed version of what I did every day.}

The cabin we stayed in was built by an artist in the 1950's. It began as his studio and later grew into a home for his wife and two daughters. His paintings still grace each and every wall. Actually, there was not one element of that cabin that didn't, in some way, reflect the creative mind that built it. How could I help but be endlessly inspired? I spent much of my time alternating between drawing, writing, reading, hiking, and generally just breathing it all in.

...and let me just say:
It was hard to come back.
Very hard.

I learned something about myself this week--much more than I can verbalize in this quick little homecoming post. What I can say is that I've found something worth working towards. I realized this past week that, although there are many things that I love about the city, I am not, ultimately, meant to live in one. I love noting the changing colors in a constantly changing sky, walking under the cover of trees, in the wind, under the sun, in the rain, taking in the smells of leaves and moss, the sounds of birds and chipmunks, the unexpected colors of a mushroom or wildflower--this is when I feel truly alive. Under these conditions, I feel myself smile; I feel the blood beneath my skin; I am more aware of the muscles that hold my body together and the flow of thoughts that come from feeling connected to my body and the world I walk through.

{Click on images to read the larger than life version.}

Day 1:
Day 2:

Day 3:

Day 4:
(yes, sorry, i felt the need to crop the dark musings
of my mind--nonetheless, it is a path into a dark forest.
you can make up the rest from there.)

Day 5:


Anonymous said...

you are amazing, and you fill my heart. an email (or snail mail letter) soon..i haven't decided which one yet. ;)

Maddie said...

I don't think it's your future
home Jess - it's your hearts
home now:)

and this my all time fave
post of yours - because
your heart flew out of your
chest and out into the sky..
and i think you are following
this line of thought this week...

To live is the rarest thing in
the world. Most people exist,
that is all."

(Oscar Wilde)

You're journals are filled with
LIFE all in capitals
of course:)

and I loved your beautiful
soooo beautiful soaring
paintings - especially
Pincusion Mt and early morning
view from Spirit Haven...

this post was filled with

Olivia said...

What an amazing adventure, Jessie. And how good to get to be SO yourself. And to learn about what you want. And to meld with a particular place. And to know when your heart is home. Thank you for sharing your journal pages with us, and for pressing on and BEING BRAVE.

Love, O

Loralee Choate said...

I have always known that I am a country girl. I love visiting cities (Oh, how I love them) but when it comes to settling down and living life...I need the country.

laundrygirl said...

Such a beautiful post.
Thanks for sharing your heart so openly.

Anonymous said...

Love these journal musings. I have missed you this week (and I also see the wild forest as your heart's home).

Can't wait until we get to have some strong coffee. I really missed you.

Anonymous said...

Ohhh, I feel like I haven't read your blog in a million years.
I've forgotten how cozy and real your posts are.
I am loving these journal pages.
You never stop inspiring me.

Endment said...

thanks for sharing yourself and for sharing so much inspiration!

deirdre said...

I'm not surprised you found yourself so at home in this place. You have a connection to the earth that must be honored. It's good to learn that about oneself. Welcome home - in all senses.

swampgrrl said...

thank you, dear jessie, for letting me have a vicarious vacation. i love the way you talk about this place. what beautiful art you have made and shared.