Monday, July 24, 2006

4 days and counting...

Oh yeah....another day, another cup of coffee. I can be glad that yesterday is done because our rather crazy and aggravating neighbors have finally settled down. I've termed this street "Rental Row" because it sucks here. People do nothing but fight, throw their garbage around, and let their dogs shit wherever they want. This place is a living hell with a neighbor that's been pacing around the apartment that his girlfriend kicked him out of--all day he did this--pacing, yelling, banging, cussing. The cops came, they left, the crazy neighbor came back--this time drunker or higher than before. All day the fighting went on just like too many days before...

The previous night, I had just laid down to go to sleep and was enjoying the cool breeze coming in from the window when I heard a POP! followed by: "Freeze! You're under arrest!" followed by the nearby scuffling of feet and running. A couple minutes later, out the window, I saw 3 cops walking down the middle of the street with a half naked guy in handcuffs. Someone else had gotten away. Ah yeah...this is the life...I am sooooooo very glad that we're almost out of here. I'm just wondering how much worse this place could get. It can't possibly get worse, can it?

Yesterday I wrote that I was going to go sit outside and write in my journal. Well, I did--even though it was hard to concentrate with all the fighting...but I've been picking up Sabrina Ward Harrison's The True and the Questions quite a bit lately and decided to make a list of my own.

Here's what I came up with:
"I seem to find myself living in moments between windows of time...
of going home, arriving home, leaving home, creating home..."
~Sabrina Ward Harrison

In My New Home I Want:
  • love--surrounding our home and in our home (not the incessant fighting of our neighborhood here)
  • peace and quiet--long evenings spent relaxing in our back yard.
  • to spend long, uninterrupted hours in my basement studio listening to good music and working on nice, big canvases.
  • a calm sanctuary in my writing room--a place to close the door and be comforted by words and sunlight.
  • to listen to the crackle of the fire on cold winter nights while playing scrabble with Vinny.
  • to go on magical walks in the woods with Anu.
  • to enjoy sparkly snow when I walk to the bus stop and drink warm mochas as I wait (the bus stop is right outside a coffeeshop--how perfect!).
  • to drink wine with my brother and sister in the back yard--and not complain about family.
  • to dream big dreams and then live them.
  • to work in an art gallery.
  • I want to read more books.
  • to create a magic room for the kids (my niece and nephew) in the eaves (our new house comes complete with a secret little room!)
  • to cook great meals with my husband and then take the time to sit down at the dinner table together to enjoy what we've created.
  • to sit on the front steps and write while I watch the deer who visit from the park across the street.
  • to get more active--play lots of tennis and start running.
  • to enjoy new friendships with like-minded creatives.
  • my days to be filled with more optimism and positive energy. I want to notice the little stuff.
I feel myself trying to counteract the negative energy that surrounds us with positive energy. I don't know if it's working, but....

maybe the early morning rain washed some of yesterday away. It (the rain) was wonderful. Anyway, it feels good to be writing in a room that is nearly bare. I didn't think I'd like this part--but I do!


swampgrrl said...

hey girl.
sounds like you are sooo OUTTA there.
i like your list of intentions for your
new place.
at 41, i stayed in one place until age 17 and then 30 times since then.

after awhile, i was able to afford and find places that were nice enough.

years later tho, i realized that it was me who was restless and unsettled and not liking myself much at all.

btw, i LOVE your coffee mugs....

paris parfait said...

Jessie, in your mind you've already left and moved on, past the nutty neighbours. In San Francisco I had neighbours like that once - my friends referred to them as The Scream Family. Police were always being called to mediate their fights. I hope you get everything on that terrific list! Won't be long now! Sending a big hug for your journey. xo

Anonymous said...

I have noticed that every time we move, just as we are in the process of packing up, the faults and unpleasant parts of living there become apparent. It is almost like a confirmation that it is time to go. Any sadness or longing is replaced with anticipation of better times at a new place.
I love your list. Derek and I have started making wish lists together. Our latest is what we’d want in a starter home.

Loralee Choate said...

You were right. It sounds like your neighbors and my neighbors should get together and knit. If they can tear themselves away from the meth lab that long, that is...

Kristine said...

It's Kristine.
I did not mean to post anonymously earlier...
I laughed at what paris parfait said. We had a guy that lived above us that we called "Stompy"...

Jessie said...

...luckily we are moving up in the world. Who would have thought that moving to Mpls would actually be MORE peaceful??? ha! Well, we're looking forward to our new neighborhood.

Kristine: heehee! I thought that was you!

Froyd said...

Hey Jessie! I yelled at you out of my car today at lunch.

just in case you were wondering who the crazy bastard was.

Anonymous said...

hey jessie,

when i read the list of things you want to create for yourself in your new home, i was like "yes!" it seems as if we are traveling along parallel journeys, my glad i found your words!!!
now get the hell outta sounds scary!

Jessie said...

Froyd: Yep--I knew it was you! You drive like a maniac! haha! Good to see ya (even though it was only for a split second). :)

Ruby: I agree!

Loralee: no doubt! and these are different people than the ones I mentioned on your blog. ugh.

bee said...

this is a great list. i was so inspired when i thought of the deer, the coffee shop by the bus stop, the home surrounded by/in love...i'm sure you will have that for yourself and for vinny and anu soon.

deirdre said...

That's a perfect list. I'm glad you made it, it means the chances of getting just what you want increased. It sounds wonderful.

Colorsonmymind said...

ooooh I really savoured this list of wishes...I share many of them-they are divine:)