there. i've deleted this post because it's served its purpose. i needed to write about it. it helped me to get it out of my system and make sense of my own thoughts (and this is what i love about writing). and, just so you know, i appreciate your responses (very, very, very much). i have been invited to a second round of interviews. i'm going to go just for the practice of interviewing and to find out how much the job actually pays (curiosity killed the cat?). however, since it is a "conflict of interest" to work at the job i already have and love dearly, i'm not going to take the position. happiness is more important to me than money. things will work out. i know they will. they always do.
thank you Universe, in advance.