Saturday, September 30, 2006

#2-15...and a healthy dose of long-windedness.

Because I feel the need to finish what I started (and because I haven't yet figured out what to write for Sunday Scribblings)....

2. Does your family know about your blog?
Yes. Well, some of them. My husband and brother are the only ones that read it. Just as well though. I don't think I'd want the rest of them reading it. Their judgments are harsh enough. Some of my family, unfortunately, lives a slightly closed minded existence. I suppose they could surprise me, but over the past few years my family seems to have grown more distant, the result of too many divorces and deaths? I rarely talk to many of them anyway.

3. Do you feel embarrassed to let your friends know about your blog? Do you consider it a private thing?
No and no. My blog has, somewhere along the line, become a part of me. It usually pops up in conversations with friends at some point. However, most of them don't blog or even spend much time on computers. Blogging has remained fairly separate from the longterm friendships in my life.

4. Did blogging cause and positive change in your thoughts?
Yes. Last January I did the Artist's Way with a rather large handful of fellow bloggers (although I knew none of them before starting the 12 week journey). I started a secret blog and even though I didn't keep it secret for long, it offered me a separate world, away from the cynicism that seemed to overshadow much of my experience with grad school. It allowed me a space to explore an important side of myself and in the process everything changed. In the end I think I came out a stronger person because I started to acknowledge and value what I needed the most...and cynicism was nowhere on the list.

5. Do you only open the blogs of those who comment on your blog or do you love to go discover more by yourself?
I have my favorite blogs that I visit on a regular basis and I visit those blogs regardless of whether or not I get a comment from them. Sometimes I find myself wanting to find a few new blogs to enjoy, especially on days when I have more time and my "regulars" haven't posted in awhile. However, I very rarely go too far from familiar territory (unless I get a comment from someone new). And the reason is that I invest a lot of emotional energy into the people whose blogs I read. I hate being half-assed about my visits and definitely hate being so with the comments I leave. I don't like leaving comments unless they come from the heart. I feel like if I start reading too many blogs, then I won't have enough energy to give to each individual, that I will spread myself too thin. Anyway, the best part about reading other people's blogs is getting to know them within the context of their journey. And since my blog reading time is limited, I tend to stick close to home. Still, I definitely enjoy the idea of making more connections--especially the kind that are felt deeply.

6. What does a visitor counter mean to you? Do you like having one on your blog?
I like having a tracker on my blog because I enjoy seeing who has stopped by to visit. I've only had it for a few months, but as time passes it becomes less and less important to me how many hits I get. I mean, really, does it matter? I'm much more interested in the quality of my friends than the quantity.

Also, I prefer to leave comments only when I'm able to actually convey my thoughts. Sometimes I like to think about it for awhile or I just don't have time to do anything other than read. I worry that the person might think that I didn't care because I didn't leave a comment. In other words, trackers bother me more from the perspective of the "observed" rather than the "observerer." Know what I mean?

7. Do you try to imagine fellow bloggers or give them real pictures?
Ok, something about this question doesn't make sense, but....
I give real pictures. Even the bad know, the ones where I look like I'm about to keel over and die. Those are the most telling though, aren't' they. I find it interesting though, when I've been reading someone's blog for a long time without photos, and then they finally post one. They usually look nothing like what I imagined. Sometimes I wonder what I would look like to all of you readers if I had never posted a photo. What do I look like according to my words alone? Actually, I would enjoy hearing your responses to this...with complete honesty and including all the hoary details of your imagination. Really, go for it!

8. Admit it. Do you feel like there is a real benefit to blogging?
Would I be wasting my time with this meme if I didn't? The benefits are multi-faceted, multi-leveled, and multi-dimensional.

9. Do you think that blogger society is isolated from the real world or interaction with events?
Hell no! If you ask me, blogging is becoming a form of new world journalism. Anyway, I find it endlessly fascinating to think about the many ways in which people perceive what is real and what is not.

10. Does criticism annoy you or do you think it's normal?
Luckily I haven't gotten much (or any?) criticism on my blog. Would I be annoyed if I did? Yes. I'm a harsh enough critic of myself. I'm not so sure that I need any more than I dish out to myself. However, I welcome constructive criticism on my writing or artwork--at least when I ask for it or am expecting it. If only the world played by those rules. ha!

11. Do you fear some political blogs and avoid them?
I am not a very political person, so I tend to avoid political blogs. Not all, but most. Politics depress and frustrate me. Or maybe I should say, those who misuse political power depress and frustrate me.

12. Where you shocked by the arrest of some bloggers?
"some bloggers"??? Who? What? I don't trust the government anyway. Will I get arrested for saying that?

13. What do you think will happen to your blog after you die?
Well, if I were to die anytime soon, I image them reading from my blog at my funeral. My husband would probably do the honor since he is the one that values my blog the most. He knows how much of me my blog really contains. I like the idea of my blog being read at my funeral. It would be a nice celebration of my writing life.

Assuming that I'm not going to die any time soon, I imagine that my blog will eventually evaporate into cyberspace air. Technology changes quickly. Will blogs still exist as they do now? Regardless, I will (hopefully) have printed it out by that time. Maybe my grandchildren or great grandchildren will end up with boxes upon boxes of my journals and blog print outs. They will wonder what in the hell they should do with them.

OR after I die, it will all get published and I will become famous--postmortem style. (I admit, that would be ok, too.)

14. What song do you like to hear? What song would you like to link to your blog?
The Littlest Birds by The Be Good Tanyas. I consider it my life's theme song.

15. The next victims?
Anyone with a lot of time on their hands OR who feels the need to procrastinate something else they should be doing. Leave a comment if you do!


gkgirl said...

alot of what you say
rings true for me as well...
i feel like i know where
you are coming from,
especially with the
keeping up with the same blogs
and the reasons for that...
very interesting answers

swampgrrl said...

i love that song! i've never heard it before, and just gave it a listen. it is so sweet and happy. i love that it is sung by all women who are also making all the music.

now i'm going to go look for a CD of theirs to make my own.

Loralee Choate said...

I can relate to many of the comments you made, especially spreading yourself too thin. I read so many blogs it is hard to keep up with. I like the sense of community in a small blog. I also like knowing the small details about a person, like how you have a KILLER coffee mug collection and like sidewalk chalk...

I would miss stuff like that if I got to spread out.

Anonymous said...

my boyfriend is a journalist, and we have differing views on self-publishing -- i'd be curious as to what you think...

bee said...

it's funny, jessie, no word of a lie, i was listening to blue horse today at work and wondering if you'd heard of the be goods, considering they're a canadian band. i laughed a little when i read your post...

melba said...

When we first connected through the Artsit Way I only read that blog (I forgot what it was called) but oneday i clicked on this blog on your sidebar and in your profile page was a painting of a girl that I assumed looked like you. So I thought you had very short dark hair. But then around graduation time I think you posted a picture of you and you had wavy blond hair and looked much younger than I thought you were. I think it is tough to guess people's ages with blogging.

I could relate to what you wrote about not wanting to stray too far from your blogging friends blogs. I sometimes surf around, but I mostly only comment on an imagine because I don't want to jump in in the middle of a conversation. Sometimes I get comments and I know that person obviously didn't read my whole post or something I previously wrote...while I love getting comments and meeting new visitors... for myself I prefer to "know" a bit more about a blogger before I comment on something more personal in their life.

and people OFTEN (for some odd reason) call me by the wrong name in my comments and in emails to me. Does that ever happen to you? I am aften called Melissa. Strange.

For my blogging friends they know I am reading their blog even if I don't comment and I know the same from them. Trust! I love it.

Of and I just read your more recent posts and hope you are feeling healthy soon!

likearadio said...

as a newer reader of your blog, i haven't seen any photos of you besides your profile pic - and there you're upside-down and all that. :)

and i'm not sure i spend a great deal of time visualizing my favorite bloggers. blogs (imo) are such a backdoor into people's secret thoughts and dreams that it seems contradictory to spend time visualizing the appearance of the dreamers...

philosophizing aside:

*light brown hair, probably soft and short. wavy.
*soft brown eyes - i don't know why. i think brown goes with your pale pink color scheme here. ;)
*a thoughtful face.
*maybe glasses sometimes. maybe they are blue frames.
*i imagine you are white, but tan easily. i don't know why. perhaps because i relate to you in many ways, but you seem more active and happy to be in the sun than me.
*i also guess freckles and maybe a mole or two. just a couple, because they are interesting.

it's also interesting to imagine what you might look like, but i wonder if it's helpful. and now i'm tempted to go looking for one of your posted photos, but i think i won't. i'll wait for your next one. maybe it's like my favorite songs - my favorite songs have unitelligible lyrics, words creeping out here and there over time while i get to know the melody.

i like the mystery while it lasts.