Tuesday, January 10, 2006

One more day.

One more day of "break" left and today I spent it as wisely as possible. A morning hike in the woods with the dogs--it was sunny, the snow was deep. It didn't take us long to get tired from tromp, tromping...but it was good. Complete with a Cheez-its snack sitting in the snow with wet dog noses and warm sun on my face. One for me, two for the dogs, one for me, two for the dogs. Everyone was happy and when we finally made it back to the car the dogs fell fast asleep in the back. At home Anu again fell asleep outside with her chin resting on her raw-hide, too tired to even enjoy it. Thank god for another day of sun. The molecules of my brain and body needed it.

Later I headed down to the studio for some art making. When I finally came home, it felt good to be here. Tonight I spent some time writing in my paper journal. My husband gave me two more art journals for Christmas and since I desire a new beginning for the coming semester I filled a few pages of my current journal--which included making a "schedule" for the coming months. This is a habit of mine--making a schedule that I never seem to keep. But this time I kept it simple with more doodling than unattainable to-do lists. I now have a schedule that boils down to one thing: WRITING. Yes, there is the class I'm taking and the class I'm teaching. They will both get their fair share of attention, but all other moments of my life will be dedicated to one thing, and one thing only...my thesis. Oh, and walking the dog.

The past three weeks have been filled with a lot of wasted time. And of course it's only been in the last couple days that I've finally gotten to the point of being able to relax. I wish I would have used the time better. I let things hang over my head the entire three weeks. I didn't get anything done, yet I wasn't able to really "let go" either. I will pay for my non-productivity over the next several months. But, no matter what, I am going to try to stay calm about whatever the coming semester has in store for me. There are three things I'm promising myself to get through it all with my sanity in tact: getting enough sleep, exercise, and water (well--those things make life sound simple anyway!). I have also decided that it will be best for me to become a mobile writer, to follow the quiet wherever it leads me--whether it be my desk at home, my office, the studio, the library, or a coffee shop. I'm going to get up early, before my husband does, and write. This semester will require music, sun, and definitely a few deep breathes once in awhile.

And tomorrow--my last day of stolen freedom...I don't know, but I think I will spend the morning reading, savoring one last book of my own choosing, another long walk in the snow (and hopefully sun), some writing, and maybe even a nap.

For now, it's time for bed.


tara dawn said...

I still find comfort in how closely your life seems to mirror mine at times. This semester will certainly require music, sun, and lots of deep breaths. And maybe I shall try your idea of increasing the simplicity (sleep, water, etc)...though is "increasing the simplicity" actually an oxymoron? Whatever...maybe I shall begin the simplifying now and indulge myself with a glass of water and a short afternoon nap:)
Sending my love!

Renee said...

dog?S? I walked mine today again, in the sun, down a long country road. Oh peace, blissful doggy happy. Anyway...who was getting that other cheez cracker?

Jessie said...

r: i have hereby adopted my dad's dog coca. although she still lives with him, she is included in any and all outings that anu and i go on. anu loves her. actually, they love each other. i'm glad they have each other for companionship. coca eats more cheez-its than anu and i combined. :P

by the way, wasn't that sun marvelous?! whenever i think i'm wierd cuz i walk my dog so much, i think of you. ha! that's a good thing. :)

t: i've always loved the word "oxymoron." it makes me think of a many-sided moron. did you drink water and take a nap? hmmm--i didn't. who thought living in the name of simplicity could be so hard?! i drank coffee and cleaned the house instead. anyway, i'm also glad that we came across each other. i feel like there's another side of me living in a southern state. it's strange. i think of you often. :)