This morning, when I got up, this lightlessness felt just right. But now, already, the sky is beginning to turn from a dusky non-color to white. There are clouds again, but there was snow during the night. When it was darker out, I felt momentarily connected--but now it is starting to feel like the day is moving on without me. I've left the shades drawn in order to hold myself in this warm cocoon just a little longer. Perhaps just until it feels like it's time to take a shower, get dressed, go outside and walk the dog.
In the meantime I am sitting here at my desk in self-created half-light drinking an oh-so-tasty cup of coffee. I got the coffee maker ready last night and this morning only had to press GO. This preparedness reminds me that I have something worth accomplishing today. Viscosa, my little black cat, weaves herself in figure 8's around my legs.
At the moment I am trying to decide how to move forward. I'm thinking about structure--the structure my writing should/wants to take. Chronological order seems like the logical choice, but the story I want to tell feels more complex than that...more like a patchwork quilt. I'm just not yet sure how to fit the pieces together--or for that matter, what kind of stitches to use to hold it in place.
It's time for a second cup of coffee.