We were graced by more good luck when our current landlord called last night and asked if we'd be willing to end our lease a month early so that he could more easily rent it for the coming school year. We were going to have to pay rent for TWO places for the month of August--but now we can breath a financial sigh of relief. Everything is strangely falling perfectly into place.
As for the job search, after being a student for the past 7 years, I find the notion of living above the poverty line quite exciting. And since I don't technically have my MA (because I still have to finish my thesis)...
I get to be anything I want!
Unfortunately, not having my degree means that teaching is not an option (yet). After the past 2 years of teaching college writing, quite frankly, everything else pales in comparison. However, I'm learning that opportunity can arise out of nothing. One never knows what might happen. Maybe I'll teach community ed. or start a writing group instead. Ok, ok...but I still need an income.
Without the necessary degree to obtain my dream job--I've found a surprising amount of freedom in how I might make money in the coming year. I find myself looking in the Help Wanted section of the classifieds under "Other" and "miscellaneous." How liberating! Not that I've actually discovered anything that is shouting my name yet, but...
So I ask myself: What is it that I want to do?
I find myself gravitating towards the arts and animals. Yes--I'm a woman of extremes. So far, the only job in the arts that I have any knowledge of, is for a university curating position that requires a PhD (which I don't have). My first reaction to most job listings is: "Oh--no, I'm not qualified for that!"...which, in other words, boils down to "I'm not good enough for that... or that...or that..." I've been making continuous attempts to remind myself that I can do anything, and that what is most important is not can I do it, but do I want to do it. If I want it bad enough--then I know I'm capable of learning whatever it is I need to know--sometimes I just get scared and forget. Actually, I've been in Bemidji for so long that now I'm a little afraid of anything new. I have a quick mind and I'm a fast learner. But I also know that I do best and feel happiest when I'm in an environment that I feel comfortable and confident in.
I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but life has been a little piece of hell for too long. IT HAS BEEN HARD. V. and I decided to take this next year off between graduate programs to get our bearings back, to have time to relax and create and put our heads on straight again. I want a job that will allow me to do all of those things. And, to be honest, searching the internet for a job is a bit daunting.
My sister thinks she has all the answers for us. Maybe she's just trying to be helpful--but I also know she has a knack for being over-bearing. If it was up to her, I'd be a technical writer. Uh--excuse me? I mean, I know I have a BFA in Creative and Professional Writing, but.... can you say SOUL SUCKING??? No, I'm sorry. Technical writing is not for me.
But the more I think about it, the more important it becomes that I find a job that will feed me from the inside out, one that gives me energy. I don't want to jinx myself by blurting out all my silly little desires before they've had time to incubate and maybe even materialize...but for the first time in a very long time I'm actually looking forward to the possibilities.
This move is going to happen sooner than we anticipated or planned. Both of us have never been more ready.