You know when you rip out a piece of paper from a spiral bound notebook and you get those fringy edges along one side? That's how I feel...like a fringy piece of paper that's been folded up and carried around in pants pockets and purses for too long. I feel tired, relaxed, and broken in...but not really like paper because I don't feel nearly as flat. I'm more swollen and three-dimensional. I've never compared myself to the leaves of a lotus flower before...but today I will, because I'm feeling generous with myself.
Last night I returned to the flower shop, after a much needed vacation, to keep working on the "renovation." I ended up staying until almost 2:30 in the morning because I got on a roll and wanted to see it through. Last night's room is my favorite one so far--the India Room. It's three steps down from the rest of the shop and easily creates a country within itself. I hope the old ladies that work there don't mind, but we've gone global to the furthest extreme.
I recently bought a gazzilion yards of sari fabric and it is now hanging from the ceiling and down the corners of the walls. I was shooting for the billowing look, but fabric is mucho expensive...still, it looks pretty damn luscious.
The room is filled with things from India and Morocco, dripping with (artificial) tropicals, and pungent with the smells of Mediterranean Fig, Indian Chai, Marrakech Spice, Ruby Guava, and Jasmine. We got new candles in and, needless to say, I am definitely feeling my throat and sinuses today! There are lots of beaded lamps, color, and mirrored bowls that catch the light. It's the kind of place where I would be happy curling up with a good book and a cup of creamy, sugary tea ...but if I'm going to daydream then I'd like the real thing in a real garden in the real India or Morocco. Too tired to go anywhere today though.
Instead I'll sit in the yard I actually DO have...the one with a big, beautiful shedding dog, a kennel, patches of grass scattered between patches of dirt, and a leaning fence. It's easy enough to enjoy what I have in reality--even though it's not perfect or even pretty to most eyes, there are little things that I love about it back there...like the brightly swollen orange begonias and dark purple peonies, herb pots and pansies; and the crumbling sidewalk that makes me feel like I'm somewhere foreign. Best of all, there's the tree that leafed out in our absence...the one that I'm not even sure what kind it is except that it's huge and spreads up and out across the sky draping itself protectively over the back yard like a canopy of green feathers.
Today is a lounge-mode, herbal iced tea drinking kinda day. Green leaf shadows shifting beneath the blue sky...the birds are chirping like little maniacs. Today is a good day to read and feel loads and loads of love. ...and so it begins.