Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Ask and you shall receive (something, hopefully)....but don't read this if you're not willing to subject yourself to ridiculous ramblings.

On Sunday I had a dream. I had no intention of fulfilling it until yesterday at about 1:00 in the afternoon while standing in the shower, when V. came in to talk and I asked if he wanted to go. A quick shower, a couple phone calls, and 45 minutes later we were on the road headed toward Mpls. And yes, per dream, we made it to my nephew and niece's lemonade stand in the nick of time.

Did we find a place? Yes.

Well, yes and yes. CONFUSION!!! Yes, I'm suffering from great confusion and some anxiety too--but I'm good at that, right?

We found a place in blue-collarville in a neighborhood approximately 2 minutes from my sister and 4 minutes to downtown. It's a house with a yard, 2 bedrooms, an office, and a finished basement. It's a half-mile from a kick-ass trail and near a few others as well. It is owned by an incredibly friendly woman who is about my age and loves dogs. She's happy to let our animals move in along with us and is flexible about leases and deposits...and even though I was reluctant at first, V. talked me into it...(but don't get the wrong idea...I'm pretty stubborn--V. can't talk me into anything that I don't actually feel on my own). The place felt warm and cozy and homey. No awe inspiring architectural details...we'd have to bring visual interest TO the house with us. But it felt comfortable...like a place you could call home.

She agreed to e-mail an application and all the necessary pamphlets and what-nots and we are pretty much as good as in as soon as we're ready. YAY!!

Then we got home. I checked craigslist to see if I could find a picture of it (she said it had been listed there)...and in the process of tracking it down I found a NEW rental that was just listed TODAY at 3:17 in the ACTUAL neighborhood we want (the other one isn't, but is nearby)...RIGHT NEXT to one of the biggest, best, most beautiful park in the cities!!! #UUUUUUCK!

Now I'm not sure what to do except drink calming tea and wait until tomorrow. The place in our favorite neighborhood is actually cheaper and sounds more interesting and and and...shoot. And besides the park, it is actually walking distance from my sis's. But the park, oh the park!!!

I haven't even talked to the guy renting it yet though. Maybe he'll say NO to 3 pets. Maybe there won't be a yard. Maybe, maybe, maybe.... who knows....but damnit, the cities is 4 hours away! V. and I spent $100 in gas in the past 2 days. And we get decent gas mileage! But I'd drive down again tomorrow if the other one seemed like it might actually work and like he'd actually rent to us.

I think I'm spazzing out on my blog. I am, aren't I? :[-

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE...I just want to find a place! I want a place that makes me feel good and inspired and where my husband and animals are happy too. I just want a signed lease and a guarantee and to know where I'll end up so that I can relax and start thinking about other things. In many ways I love change...lately I just want to know where it will take me.

My weary head wants a place to lay down. I guess I should be thankful for ABUNDANCE!


deirdre said...

You're definitely not rambling. When it rains it pours, doesn't it? Wish I could wave a magic wand for you, but all I can say is go with your heart. (Ewww, I hate that, it's so tidy and simple and ambiguous) Good luck and let me know which house you end up with.

Amber said...

Ug. I feel your anxiety. Good luck with the decision-making...but I know you'll be happy wherever you end up.

(By the way, since I haven't mentioned it on my neglected blog, Eric and I found our apartment. And I've been second-guessing it because I've hated the lack of storage in our current place, and our new one might actually have less storage space. But I was so enchanted by the dark hardwood and the STAINED GLASS and the fenced yard filled with songbirds that I forgot to notice while we were there.)

Jessie said...

Amber, the fenced yard with songbirds will make up for ANY amount of storage you don't have. Hardwood floors, stained glass, and enchantment will too. I think that's what I'm still looking for--enchantment! We are all magical beings at heart. We just need the right environment to lure that part out!

Deirdre--If you come across a magic want let me know. Either way, I'll definately let you know where we end up. ;)

Kristine said...

Hang in there! Attempt to have a peaceful sleep and I pray that God will make the direction you should go very clear to you.
I know it must be hard to be in the midst of such uncertainty…

Endment said...

Oh the panic of uncertainty (ug) I have a saying pasted in a place where I can see it in time of need - Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals. ---
Henry Ford
Wishing you successful house hunting

paris parfait said...

Jessie, I hope one of the places works out - both sound lovely. Fingers crossed that you get the one you really love; that makes your heart skip a beat when you see it!

Jamie said...

Wowzers! You wanted something and BAM two great possibilities showed up. What a powerful woman you are :)

I'm sending you good vibes and knowing that the exact right place will be the one you find yourself sitting in, laughing, dreaming and enjoying the day!

Laura said...

Need to vent? Come, we can share our frustrations. I'm out in two weeks and have no job, much less a place we can call our own. :(
We'll be living at my parent's cabin in the meantime. Although they'll be there every weekend, it's on a lake. So it could be much worse.
Hope that place is exactly what you need! (either of them)

gkgirl said...

isn't it funny
how it works
that when you want something
you can't find it
and when you think you have
found something,
other possibilities start popping up.

good luck
and i hope that it all works
out for you...
keep us posted

Aspen said...

One of the hardest things about growning up is all the decisions. Thus me refusing to grow up entirely ;)

As a child I WANTED to make decisions. (Didn't we all?) I couldn't wait for the day...


I'm in a place of decision-making myself and I can only say... do what feels right.
I know it's hard when you have multiple possibilities (esp. if they are all enticing).

Ah well.

Good luck chicky :)
Go for the happy!

megg said...

SO!?!? Which one is it?? Which did you pick? Did you go and talk to the other guy? What else happened? I know you'll know which one to choose when you have the facts. Keep us posted!!! xoxo

Belle said...

This reminds me of the saying "when it rains, it pours".

Best wishes.

Signora B. said...

Best wishes from across the mountains.
It will turn out just fine.Take care.

liz elayne said...

oh yes being thankful for abundance is good...but doesn't always feel so good when it seems to just add to confusion.
so what happened? what did you decide? i hope that it all works out as you desire.
sending you moments of peace and light my dear (and a beer - i am also gonna send you a moment to sit down, take a breath, and drink a beer)