Wednesday, December 20, 2006

hold close the morning quiet.

This morning the sky is filled with deep grey clouds. While walking in the woods I noticed how the thick air tamps down the background noise of traffic, leaving more room for the sound of birdsong. I don't know why, but I wore my big, clunky winter boots. There isn't even any snow. I wasn't really awake yet and so the combination of the sky, my boots, and my muscles that refused to wake up made me feel firmly planted to the ground. It is a hazy morning stretching out into a hazy day. Today there will be no into-the-sky-shattering. Even Anu agrees.

My feet dragged along the path while she sniffed, nose to the ground, acting more like a hound dog than the energetic wolfie that she is. Lately her playfulness has been replaced by a serious bout of curiosity. I am content to slow my pace to hers, sometimes even stopping completely. She sniffs and digs while I scan the horizon. Often we look into the woods together. And I wonder why I do that--why I have such a deep need to understand and memorize my surroundings. For some reason, observing the shadow of fallen leaf helps me make sense of the world.

I've walked these woods so many times since moving here that they have begun to lose some of their mystery. Only lately have I started to make sense of the elaborate trail system that twines itself in knots and continues beyond the scope of my daily hikes. But the loss of mystery has been replaced by another way of seeing. I continue searching for secrets hidden behind, underneath, above. Clouds, dogs, leaves, a bird that I can hear, but not I am not pushing back or breaking open. Today I only have energy to absorb.


Mark said...

"The loss of mystery has been replaced by another way of seeing."

Fine concept. This is what I have thought was my secret, the reason I keep walking in Diamond Point Park after all these years. I've seen every tree from every angle by now, yet the familiarity brings a sense of history to the nowness of the view that is itself a centering.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Hey Jessie, that is so cool to be out and about. To be able to walk here and there with your dog. I wish i had the time...i'm working on it though. I guess you can see I'm not out alone that much.
I wanted to drive to McDonalds for a happy meal and to just get away and think. What do I hear...Mike, go with her. "Crap...I just wanted some time for myself." With pleading eyes that convince Mike I could be on my own without getting into trouble. It's not like I'm getting out of a car wearing a very short skirt, ala commando, to end up on the front page of a rag mag. Hum...actually...nah! I have way too much to do then waiste time explaining that. I-have-to-finish-wrapping-presents-later-and-I-have-to-make-cookies. Don't you just love the holidays. I do. Later jessie, you rock even when you're absorbing.

krista said...

I think this is exactly what I need. A long walk, preferably in a forest, wherein I use another way of seeing, and like you said- absorb.

I loved this post.

sophie said...

you are so refective indeed whilst
today Roxy and I played hide and
seek in hysterical bursts of
energy - :)

Kristine said...

I'm having a quiet morning, drinking coffee, thinking of you!