I was just about to go to bed, but something didn't feel right. Then it dawned on me that I hadn't blogged today. I've gotten in the habit of blogging everyday (or nearly), so now when I don't it kinda feels like forgetting to brush your teeth...or getting halfway through the day before you realize that your socks don't match.
Lately I've been feeling like hiding out. I'm in introvert mode. Hiding out is not easy. Maybe I just need some time to regain my energy. I've been in a bit of a slump. I have time to sit down and relax, but I haven't yet. I'm walking around in a weird daze avoiding people, looking for ways to concentrate without interruption, doing several things at once and at all times. I feel awkward, displaced, like I'm off by an inch. I feel like a 3-D image without the 3-D glasses to give myself dimension.
Yesterday our landlord's realtor came over to walk through the house because it was just listed. Here we go again...another summer's worth of trying to sell a house...but this time it isn't even ours. Vinny and I want to move. I'll miss it here, but it's time to get out. Maybe it's my mood talking again...but really--we're sick of it...or maybe "it" is sick of us...we haven't quite figured out which way it goes.
Tonight my brother-in-law called about a house his co-worker, a psychology professor, is thinking about renting because she and her family are moving and their house hasn't sold. It sounds wonderful. A nice neighborhood, right next to a great trail system, a yard, garage, plenty of room...and best of all, it's close to my favorite restaurant, the Taste of India. Fingers crossed. It would feel good to have one small aspect of our lives in order.
And maybe that's it...why I can't find my place. Right now I'm just looking for that little corner of the world that can contain me...for something to hold my brain in place--even if it is temporary.