...beginning at 9:15 am that is. That's when I left school and headed down to the Spanish grotto to do some writing. Well, that's what I've decided to pretend the back room at Moose-a-Brew to be anyway. I planned on doing some dialectic note taking for my Virginia Woolf paper, but got side-tracked by Poetry Pete's Europe story. Its the part that he's sitting at the back of the bus next to the toilet, then in a purple hostel sewing pants, exchanging gender roles with a Moroccan woman. Afterwards I took a long look at my yellow legal pad and decided that dialectic note taking is only good in theory. I wrote in my journal instead. I wrote until my coffee was gone and I was ready to face the world again. Leaving, I was blinded by white snow; I walked away from the Spanish grotto and across an icy street.
Once home I took a short nap and ate Mac-n-cheese. ick-- it makes me want to take another nap. But it is already after 2pm with nothing accomplished on the V.W. paper. Maybe I'll try an outline...and then work on it in chunks. It's too overwhelming otherwise. Just bite size pieces, maybe that will work better. Anyway, I was given advise today: to give myself time to relax. Good advise. And I think I will. My arms feel floaty... but first I want to get something down on paper, just something.
But instead of working I've been wearing flip-flops around the house and trying on shorts to make sure they still fit. I'll be in Texas in 5 days. I'm hoping to sit down next to a big cactus and write some real poetry. Maybe sun-bathe in the prickly grass outside my grandparent's trailer house, read a book, visit the trailer park hot-tub all afternoon. I'm looking forward to going for late night walks in the warm air with Vinny or my grandma or all of us. I don't care what we do. It'll feel good to be gone. We'll eat challupas with my grandpa, buy cheap bananas and onions and hopefully avoid any old people birthday parties or bridge games. We'll walk to Mexico, drink beer, and maybe, if I can talk everyone into it, drive to San Antonio to visit an art gallery that houses a Gauguin painting.
Oh god... I can't wait. I've never looked forward to visiting an elderly retirement community so much in my life. It will be fun. They might even make me feel like I have a lot of energy.
In the meantime, I just want to get done with everything else... so I can forget about it.