the verdict?

We found the 80 acres magical. Unfortunately, we found the leaking ceilings, the crumbling plaster walls, the sculpted gold shag carpet, and the toilet that was about to fall through the second-story bathroom floor less than magical. Old farm houses are bound to have their drawbacks, but this one had just a few too many of them. Yes, it is unfortunate because it certainly did come close to fitting our dream criteria-- including the claw foot tub, an old country sink in the kitchen, and a studio with extra high ceilings. After all, these things were on my list of dream details (written in a list the day before...and then they showed up!). It amazes me how the things I want have a way of manifesting themselves. It doesn't always happen, but when I really, really want something with nothing but a pure heart...there it is.

Granted, the place we looked at didn't meet all of our hopes (the layout was off and so were the house's "vibes"), but it did plant a seed. We had never been to that area of the state before and, well...we fell in love with it. "Only" 45 minutes away from the city and yet an entire world away. It is a place made up entirely of rolling hills, hardwoods, pine, and a sunset that took our breathes away. There are endless bends of rivers and creeks and dirt roads. We saw horses, deer, wild turkey and pheasant. And a nearly full moon rose full and fat over all of it. Who knows what we might find one of these days when all the details of the universe fall into perfect alignment. When something is right, we know it with our whole being. That place came close, but not quite.

I will say, however, that simply the idea of it lit a whole new circle of fires within me. Sometimes I can't get this idea machine of mine to turn off--this is both a blessing and a curse. The importance and meaningfulness of these ideas come in various depths, but it's the ones that cause cellular shifts that are the most satisfying of all. Oh, Life. I am full to the brim with inspirations that fill my heart to the point of overflowing.

This evening I went to my 9 year old nephew's school play. It was a story about the moon. Being (the most amazing) Montessori students, they wrote, choreographed and visioned the entire play themselves. It was over two hours long--an amazing endeavor considering their ages (9-12 year old). The music, comprised of several variations of drums, xylophones, xylorimbas, and flutes, caused shivers to run up and down the length of my spine. The play was sweet and funny, but it was also deep and wise. It was filled with enough magic to transport me completely.

At one point they turned down the lights completely. The darkness filled with firefly light of the kids' dancing and swirling--and it awakened something inside me...how that happens is hard to explain, but magic is a pattern that I welcome wholeheartedly. It returns in little dips and doses and, for this, I am grateful. I had been living without it for much too long.

~