Last night I had a dream that I fell 10 stories down an elevator shaft. Upon being released from the broken wreck, my nose was deeply swollen, but other than that I guess you could say I was fine. It was in a nice hotel and I was on my way to a reception of sorts. I was with my mom and grandma. They made it out as if nothing even happened. And, now that I think about it, I realize that the last I had a dream that felt like this (about a bear), they were with me then also. At the party I wandered around miserable and sad partly because of my nose, but mostly for reasons much larger than I was even able to make sense of.
The night before last I dreamed that Vinny, myself, and an orphaned baby were swept down the currents of a muddy river in a distant country. After finding our way out of the river, I spent the rest of the night being pursued by whoever it was that was chasing us.
These days I feel a bit stressed and rootless. I also feel a lot inspiration and doubt, happiness and sadness. You know, the whole gammot. I like to think of this time in my life as a stage...one that I just need to allow myself to travel through. But where to begin writing? I pull the strings of thought and realize that each one is attached to much more than I am capable of taking on. Sometimes I suppose we just have to allow ourselves to sit and write nothing at all. Sometimes that is the only way back in.
- I am lost in a 12"x22" painting of an old dog looking longingly through the glass door of an ice cream shop. I am obsessed with all the beautiful little details.
- Today I'm joining a tele-group that offers business/financial support for creative types like moi (I'm nervous, but ready to give it a try).
- Warm weather has finally arrived. I go outside to stand in the backyard many times during the day.
- My wolfie girl, Anu, has started giving me more kisses than usual.
- I am learning to ignore my weeds. That is, those thought tendrils that do nothing but bring me down. (thank you, Connie, for introducing me to this idea.)
- Thinking about re-launching the Be Brave Project in June.
- Getting ready to launch my next big art exhibition/animal rescue project in two weeks.
- Attempting to learn the fine art of surrender.
- Planning on taking a painting/work retreat in the northern woods of Minnesota this coming week. 5 days of just me, my wolfie, and a car-load of canvases.
- Waiting for hope. It seems to come and go these days.