Sunday, March 11, 2007

{Checking In} Week 3 of Finding Water

Hola! Where have I been? Well, today I've been up north helping my grandpa, my niece, my nephew, my cousin, and my brother's girlfriend all celebrate their birthdays (that's a whole lot of birthdays!!). I've been wanting to "check-in" all weekend, but it's only now that I've had a chance to sit down and do so. But here I am! Oh, and it feels good to be home, to have snuggled my wolfie, to have a snoring cat at my feet, to be in my fuzzy pajamas, to be drinking spearmint tea out of a very cheesy mug that my grandma gave me...and, well, just simply to be.

Morning Pages
This week I did morning pages 6 out of 7 days. I missed one day for no better reason other than I just totally spaced it out. Huh? How did that happen? Despite this minor space out, morning pages have been going well for me. I'm starting to notice a shifting pattern in morning pages. I'm also starting to have more trust in those shifts. Every week is so much different from the last, but lately I've been noticing that I often sit down with absolutely nothing to say (or thinking I'll write about one thing in particular) and then half way through my pages I'm writing something that I totally did not expect. This week I keep surprising myself. It always feels good when I'm able to break through and get to the heart of a matter...and, when this happens, I notice that my day always unravels a whole lot more smoothly.

While traveling in India, I used to love mornings. The air was always fresher, quieter, brighter. One of my favorite things about those early hours was watching the women sweep the ground outside their doors. I still remember the sound of their handmade brooms in the dirt. They were some of the first sounds of the day. Every morning they purified their homes in this way. It was a ritual. And that is what morning pages has become for me: a mental decluttering, a cleansing of the mind. The sound of my pen moving across paper--I find much comfort in beginning each day from this space of quiet routine.

Artist's Date
I wrote about this week's artist's date in my last post. Going swimming (despite my lack of time, despite my big butt, despite being in an unfamiliar city, despite all sorts of things) was quite possibly one of the best things that I've done for myself in a very long time.

These artist's dates are serious stuff. If I've learned one thing this week it is to take them seriously and use them wisely. I don't know what I'm going to do this coming week...but I think it is important to listen to those little whispers of the heart and then follow them.

Finally! A taste of spring. This week my walks have been longer. 20 minute walks have turned into hour long walks. We have so much snow, but slowly, slowly it is all melting away. This week I've been watching the rivers of waters that flow down the sides of streets and into gutters. I find myself thinking that if I were a kid I'd get down on my haunches with a little stick and watch it float down the river like a little boat. There is a glittering quality to my world as the water flows, flows, flows down the street. It falls over itself in its haste for running downhill. Miniature ice caves are created as though mocking a thousand years of geological formations. My imagination runs wild. My body comes alive. I love winter, but never in my life have I ever been more thankful for spring.

Significant Issues
This past week has been an incredible week of "believing mirrors" and I have gone through the whole gamut of feelings towards this idea. Like many of us, I am a bit of a loner. Well, actually, I'm a bit of a loner and a bit of an extrovert. I love my friends and I love being around people...but I consider my quiet time sacred and often struggle with a balance between making time for others and making time for myself.

This week I learned to be more grateful for the incredible "believing mirrors" I have in my own life. I sat down and made a list of all those people and briefly wrote down why. I suppose I should have done this last week or the week before...but it wasn't until this week that I came to finally accept the notion of "believing mirrors" as being important to me. There is so much more I want to write about this! But I am so tired. I've run out of steam.

Note to self: write more about this. I've just barely touched the surface!
Note to Finding Water participants and blog friends: if I haven't visited or commented on your blog in awhile, please forgive me. After being sick, this has been my week of trying to catch up on all the little details of my personal life that have been slowly falling apart at the edges. Despite my lack of blog-visiting I feel your collective energy...and I just want so say thank you for that! Really, I find that quite amazing. I am grateful that you are out there, wherever you are. Thank you--for real, and from my heart.


Leah said...

oh, i just love you, jessie.

you know, it's so funny, but until i read this post, i never considered having something in mind to write about when i sit down to my morning pages. i just start and whatever comes, comes. i guess that gives you an idea of my general style in life. and i thought i was such a planner! teehee.

i'm so glad that you were able to get that swim in. it sounds so lovely. if only i could swim properly (i never could do the breast stroke properly.) i like to just float which doesn't go over well in the lap pools at my gym. heh. there is a jacuzzi though. it's lovely.

Loralee Choate said...

Like anyone couldn't forgive you of anything! As for being busy and torn in a million directions- As far as I go we are right as rain, my coffee slurping sister!

Remember that little thing we said, "You are loved even though life is hectic and too busy to talk"


P.S. I want spring to get here NOW.

Laura B. said...

It's good to hear your voice again, Jessie! :)

Happy Week Four.

Caroline said...

You write so well for someone about to run out of steam!

Your check-in is so good and detailed that I'm feeling a twinge of guilt at not actually posting any check-ins so far... maybe your example will motivate me... though actually I'm just congratulating myself at being ready to carry on... whether or not I do type up my check-in on my blog...

I love your relation of the early morning house brushing to morning pages - a wonderful metaphor. Thank you.

Becoming Amethyst said...

**but I think it is important to listen to those little whispers of the heart and then follow them.**

this has TOTALLY been my experience with Artist Date's too ~ they're sneaky little things, aren't they?

Good luck with week four :-)

gkgirl said...

always happy to see a new post from you!

and this one was exceptional,
so full of life
and energy
and SPRING!!!

Olivia said...

Welcome back, Jessie!

Your post inspired me, too. When I get a late start on the day and am behind on everything (as in today) it is SO hard to take time for mps but your post has motivated me and reminded me of their importance.

I echo Caroline in that I wish I could write like you do when I'm out of steam :)

Have a wonderful week,


melba said...

Wonderful post. i feel your energy too!
I love the image of Women sweeping..

Do you have any music or movies made in India (movies with subtitles or in English) that you recommend?


Kristine said...

I'm glad to hear that you are doing well. I have been thinking about you alot lately. Have a good week.

Anonymous said...

Melba: Monsoon Wedding!

Ahem. Lovely check in, dear. :) I can vouch for you being a WONDERFUL believing mirror...what would I do without you?

Jessie said...

Melba, I second Mardougrrl's suggestion. Excellent movie!! :)

Amber said...

Ahh, yes. Spring! It has been beautiful here all week, and I feel the sun in my blood like prozac! Niice.

I am also a person who loves people but neeeeds time alone. (Virgo sun, Sag moon) ;)


deirdre said...

I'm so impressed at how morning pages and artists dates are becoming part of your routine. And, yes, the surprise of finding you have something to write about after all - I love that. I hope spring comes soon for you. It sounds like you're ready for it.

bella said...

Hey sweetie! I've missed ya! Are you all fixed up with type-pad? I strongly dislike those fuckers.
Anyway, this was beautiful and inspiring.. and I'm heading strait to my journal to start writing!