Tuesday, November 23, 2004

I wonder what would happen if I took acid...

...ok, I'm just kidding. I wouldn't dare. My brain molecules are mutating. Here's a poem instead:

Keeping Things Whole
In the field
I am the absence
of field.
This is
always the case.
Wherever I am
I am what is missing.

When I walk
I part the air
and always
the air moves in
to fill the spaces
where my body's been.

We all have reasons
for moving.
I move
to keep things whole.

Today I have been dreaming about the studio. I imagine myself painting the bluish-grey-green of a building whose bare canvas is waiting to be filled in. Instead, I am still reading. And I am coming to the conclusion that the more I read, the more disjointed and confused I am becoming. I've come to the conclusion that, in the end, you can never know if what you're doing is the right thing. I'm speaking in terms of teaching writing... but I suppose that goes for just about everything.
I've been alternating between laying in bed and sitting in a chair all day. I'm beginning to feel like a muscle-less lump. I'm not even sure if I constitute a lump anymore. I can feel my muscles atrophying. Rita, I hear ya. I'd say we should walk around the lake, but I'm afraid we wouldn't make it very far.

I think I'll stand on my head, do jumping jacks, and then revel in light-headedness for awhile... if only I had the energy. Maybe I'll drink kool-aid instead... and wait for the sugar to kick in.


Renee said...

I think you already know how to do it, how to teach writing. i'm thinking of last week, and your plans and your excitement and the really great assignment you gave. you already know, ----write your own book----, your own theory, because you know, you really do, and you are definitely not absent in your teaching. This is what you've always wanted, you are there!

Renee said...

It just occured to me, you could write a book of creative writing assignments. Yes, you could. Do it.