Tuesday, August 12, 2008

rights of passages and other abrievated thoughts...

I've just washed an put away my brushes after an entire day of working on Ode's portrait. It's just over half way done and has reached, what I call, the awkward stage. Every piece I paint goes through this stage. It is the space in between initial excitement and finished satisfaction. It is the space that makes me question whether I am really any good at this at all.

Luckily, I have come to learn that's all it is: a stage. It is a right of passage that I must travel through with each painting. And yet sometimes I wonder if I will ever rid myself of this feeling. I suppose that if I want to keep growing, the sensation will always exist, at least to a degree.

Sometimes I'm amazed by how many brave things there are to do in a day. I mean, sometimes it takes bravery just to switch paint colors or to move from the nose to the eyes, from white fur to dark, from light to shadow. Every moment feels like practice to be brave, be brave, be brave...

This scary, doubtful, love-filled, crazy world. It amazes and stymies me on a regular basis.

On a side note, if I owe you an email, letter, phone call, or visit...please forgive me, but I am attempting an impossible amount of work in preparation for this weekend's upcoming event. Not to mention, our house as been taken over by a painting crew AND Eve will be here before we know it!

I have to chuckle at the bravery it took to allow Ode into my heart. I must have known that she would lead me to big changes. Little did I know!

~

12 comments:

Bohemian Single Mom said...

Ohhhhh...I just read the post about Eve, and it melted my heart.
I too, have a soft spot for animals, always as a child allowed every stray to follow me home and then begged my parents to let me keep him/her. Now I don't need anyone's permission, except yes...the dreaded landlord.

YAY!! I am so happy for you, but most especially happy for Eve.

Samosas for One said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Samosas for One said...

Be Brave is a good mantra to recite.

CurtissAnn said...

Ohmy. A friend just sent me a link to your post. Synchronicity-- you speak to what I experienced yesterday with a project, and very much to what I was just writing about this morning. I'm smiling. Thank you.

Samosas for One said...

I'm starting my Be Brave project today! Come to my blog and see!
www.samosasforone.blogspot.com

Mardougrrl said...

Oh, YAY! (I just read the post about Eve). I am THRILLED for you, and I can think of a tiny three foot person who is going to be beside herself when she gets to meet Eve. ;)

Congratulations, sweetie.

Leah said...

yay, so excited about eve!!!

and you're right, there are countless ways to be brave. it's endless. i suppose it's all about bringing awareness to the moments in which we are brave, celebrating when we took the leap and giving ourselves a bit of encouragement in the places we get stuck.

you rock, my dear!

Eve said...

So that is the stage I slam up against and camp around. That is why I have so many unfinished projects. I feel better now. : )

Congratulations on being able to bring Eve home..hmmm there is somethng about that name, don'tcha think?

Jamie said...

Oh, I just love your perspective on daily bravery and rites of passage. You are a wise soul, braveheart. Sending you love and hugs!

Marie said...

It is amazing at how many opportunities we get every day to be brave. Thanks for making daily reminders...maybe we can recognize them more often rather than how much we fail...You are a wise soul...

Sharon said...

I go through the same 'uncertain' stage when creating new outfits for people. Will it fit? Will they really like it? Then they come for a final fitting, and always love what I did. You'd think I'd develop some confidence someday...????...
Many congratulations on Eve. She is one fortunate dog!

Connie said...

This post is so true....and it has answered a question I have been pondering about myself all week. Thank you. I am grateful for you.

Peace & Love.