There are so many things that I've wanted to write about this week, but for one reason or another have neglected to do so. This week went by really fast yet, at the same time, it feels like this past Monday happened several weeks ago. Time, I guess you could say, has been playing elastic tricks on me lately. Now it is Saturday. Where do I begin?
It is becoming habit to get up early and start writing. This week I wrote my journal pages 6 out of 7 days. I missed once only because, ummm....I was being rebellious. Artistic defiance, I guess you could call it. But in all reality it probably took more energy NOT to write my journal pages that day than if I had just sat down done them. I'm kinda stuck in a rut with my morning pages, yet I feel totally off-kilter when I skip them. And the rut? Well, lately I find myself writing the same things over and over and over. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that this "rut" is a result of my own incessant non-action (at least, when it comes to the things that matter the most). Week 6 is about "uncovering a sense of resolve." Cameron reminds us that "action is the key to success." There's only one thing left to do...and that is to TAKE ACTION. Damn. How scary is that? What if myplan totally flops? I've gotten very good at evading myself and the work at hand. I've been letting myself get distracted too easily. And, in the process, I'm finding that I do less and less of the things that make me feel better about myself.
Now that I've made it to the other side of Week 6, I guess there's only one thing left to do...and that is to get a whole lot more serious about my sense of resolve. So here it is--I'm going to put this out there and then try a fuck of a lot harder to hold myself to it...
I RESOLVE TO WORK ON MY THESIS FOR TWO HOURS EVERY DAY. NO MATTER WHAT. NO MATTER HOW I FEEL. NO MATTER WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON. NO MATTER HOW TIRED OR BRAIN-DEAD OR FRIED OR ANXIOUS OR DISTRACTED OR CRAPPY I FEEL. EVEN IF THE WEATHER IS PERFECT OUTSIDE--I RESOLVE TO SIT DOWN AND MOVE THIS PROJECT TOWARDS COMPLETION!!!
There. I said it.
I was going to write more...but, for now, I think I've already gotten myself into enough trouble.