{Checking In} Week 5 of Finding Water

I woke up this morning to fog outside my window and, from the perspective of my pillow, it felt as though I had somehow managed to make my way into the clouds. It was a nice way to wake up. Since then, I've shifted my perspective to the first story window of my writing room. The fog is still as thick as when I woke up, but now it's attached to the ground and trees. A squirrel keeps running back and forth on the lawn, but stopping in front of the window; he stands on his hind legs and looks in for several seconds before running off again, then does it again. He makes me laugh.

morning pages
This week I did morning pages 7 out of 7 days. Yay for me! Unfortunately, they seem to have degenerated into glorified to-do lists. However, the best thing to come out of this week's journal pages is that I've been starting each entry with something that I love about the present moment--things like: "I love waking up to fog." or "I love standing next to the heat vent in the morning." or "I love heating pads!" Yes, I'm a geek. And, no, I haven't been doing this on purpose. I guess it's just that this week's exercises have had a good effect on me in this way.

artist's date
In other news, I didn't go on my artist's date this week. GASP!!! What?! Why?! I don't even know why. This week snuck right past me and although I meant to take myself on a date to a nearby playground and swing until I was sick (ha!)...I didn't do it. Damn. I won't give up without a fight though. Maybe I'll go tomorrow. Yes, I think I will.

walks
And the walks...oh, it has been balmy and warm here. It's been in the 50's with a little bit of snow still left on the ground. I feel like I've been experiencing the best of every season this past week and have been walking twice as much as usual. Maybe it's the warm weather but lately I have not been thinking about anything when I walk; it is the only time that my mind has been quiet. It has felt good.

significant discoveries

• It feels REALLY good to clean and rearrange the house after a long and stressful winter. Last week I rearranged my office. This week I rearranged our bedroom. It feels so spacious! There's something to be said for both the physical AND mental benefits of cleaning. I've been detoxing in this way both inwardly and outwardly (with great benefits!).
  
• It works much better for me to concentrate on just one small thing at a time. It helps me to not get overwhelmed. This is probably obvious knowlege...but I'm a slow learner. Lately I've just been giving myself a single small goal within manageable blocks of time, such as: "I'll read X amount of pages between 10 am and noon." I've found that I work well with 2 hour blocks of time.
  
• I feel more comfortable with the idea of "God" when I take it OUT of the context of my negative Catholic school experience. Having a conversation with "God" is complicated for me because I associate the word (God) with so many negative connotations. But this week I did the "Write a letter to God exercise" (page 129) and it helped me communicate with "God" in a way that was personal and on my own terms. I wrote in my own language and that in itself was a new experience for me.

*bottom image from my journal
**photo at top taken this morning by my husband, Vinny.