Hola! Where have I been? Well, today I've been up north helping my grandpa, my niece, my nephew, my cousin, and my brother's girlfriend all celebrate their birthdays (that's a whole lot of birthdays!!). I've been wanting to "check-in" all weekend, but it's only now that I've had a chance to sit down and do so. But here I am! Oh, and it feels good to be home, to have snuggled my wolfie, to have a snoring cat at my feet, to be in my fuzzy pajamas, to be drinking spearmint tea out of a very cheesy mug that my grandma gave me...and, well, just simply to be.
This week I did morning pages 6 out of 7 days. I missed one day for no better reason other than I just totally spaced it out. Huh? How did that happen? Despite this minor space out, morning pages have been going well for me. I'm starting to notice a shifting pattern in morning pages. I'm also starting to have more trust in those shifts. Every week is so much different from the last, but lately I've been noticing that I often sit down with absolutely nothing to say (or thinking I'll write about one thing in particular) and then half way through my pages I'm writing something that I totally did not expect. This week I keep surprising myself. It always feels good when I'm able to break through and get to the heart of a matter...and, when this happens, I notice that my day always unravels a whole lot more smoothly.
While traveling in India, I used to love mornings. The air was always fresher, quieter, brighter. One of my favorite things about those early hours was watching the women sweep the ground outside their doors. I still remember the sound of their handmade brooms in the dirt. They were some of the first sounds of the day. Every morning they purified their homes in this way. It was a ritual. And that is what morning pages has become for me: a mental decluttering, a cleansing of the mind. The sound of my pen moving across paper--I find much comfort in beginning each day from this space of quiet routine.
I wrote about this week's artist's date in my last post. Going swimming (despite my lack of time, despite my big butt, despite being in an unfamiliar city, despite all sorts of things) was quite possibly one of the best things that I've done for myself in a very long time.
These artist's dates are serious stuff. If I've learned one thing this week it is to take them seriously and use them wisely. I don't know what I'm going to do this coming week...but I think it is important to listen to those little whispers of the heart and then follow them.
Finally! A taste of spring. This week my walks have been longer. 20 minute walks have turned into hour long walks. We have so much snow, but slowly, slowly it is all melting away. This week I've been watching the rivers of waters that flow down the sides of streets and into gutters. I find myself thinking that if I were a kid I'd get down on my haunches with a little stick and watch it float down the river like a little boat. There is a glittering quality to my world as the water flows, flows, flows down the street. It falls over itself in its haste for running downhill. Miniature ice caves are created as though mocking a thousand years of geological formations. My imagination runs wild. My body comes alive. I love winter, but never in my life have I ever been more thankful for spring.
This past week has been an incredible week of "believing mirrors" and I have gone through the whole gamut of feelings towards this idea. Like many of us, I am a bit of a loner. Well, actually, I'm a bit of a loner and a bit of an extrovert. I love my friends and I love being around people...but I consider my quiet time sacred and often struggle with a balance between making time for others and making time for myself.
This week I learned to be more grateful for the incredible "believing mirrors" I have in my own life. I sat down and made a list of all those people and briefly wrote down why. I suppose I should have done this last week or the week before...but it wasn't until this week that I came to finally accept the notion of "believing mirrors" as being important to me. There is so much more I want to write about this! But I am so tired. I've run out of steam.
Note to self: write more about this. I've just barely touched the surface!
Note to Finding Water participants and blog friends: if I haven't visited or commented on your blog in awhile, please forgive me. After being sick, this has been my week of trying to catch up on all the little details of my personal life that have been slowly falling apart at the edges. Despite my lack of blog-visiting I feel your collective energy...and I just want so say thank you for that! Really, I find that quite amazing. I am grateful that you are out there, wherever you are. Thank you--for real, and from my heart.