Monday, April 02, 2007

monday morning spring thoughts

Today is different than other days because it is Monday and I am not working at the bookstore. In case you don't already know this about me, I work at a children's bookstore. It is a strange and unusual place--not like any other bookstore. If you've ever been there, then you'd know what I mean.

On Monday mornings we have a story time for infants and toddlers. It involves rather large crowds and high doses of chaos. I've worked this shift ever since I started late last summer and over the weeks and months have learned to let its chaos surround me with an air of calm. When I first started I remember watching my co-workers move through the morning with grace. It surprised me how easy it was to find my own state of grace. I found that being surrounded by books and babies left me feeling oddly comforted. Sometimes the parents would get on my nerves--but never the kids. If things got wildly out of control, it was easy enough to find a patch of stillness in letting one of the store cats crawl into my arms for a quick snuggle. Triny Lopez, the black Manx with a white stripe running the length of his nose, is by far the biggest lover of our 3 in-store cats and this morning I think I might even miss his purrs tickling my ear. Actually, I know I do. I miss snuggling Tom-Tom the ferret, too.

This week I start my full-time hours at the garden shop and am cutting back to just one day a week at the bookstore. My days of part-time glory (so that I could work on my thesis) are over. But, in all reality, there were very few weeks that I had much for extra writing time. I took on extra hours doing artwork, working at the garden shop, and doing the mural commission. "Part-time" was more of an intention than a reality. I have squandered away my writing time...yet, strangely, I feel a sense of relief in returning to the regular hours of full-time work.

I no longer have entire days stretching out in front of me to write. I only have a few hours in the evening or maybe an occasional hour or two in the morning. I am oddly grateful for these smaller expanses of time. It is feels so much less intimidating. I feel a shift in intention.

This morning I took Anu for an extra long walk. We went to all of our favorite places and stopped often to take in views from the ridge and the damp, spring feels of the deeper woods. Trudging up the last hill before arriving home, I noticed the hearty sprigs of grass stoutly poking up from the muddy ground. I noticed thick rugs of moss and tiny buds unfurling on a nearby tree. Little miracles.

Today I am celebrating a change in pace. Or maybe, change in general.

10 comments:

bella said...

I don't know. For me, I would feel pressed for time for myself. I need the time to read, think, then write. But everybody is different. It's a change of pace.. a change - and I will celebrate that with you.

martha said...

There is an old saying that if you want something to get done ask a busy person. Some how time explands and it all gets done! Big hugs to you and Anu! I envy you your wooded walks. here I live near the beach and the trees are more like scrub!

martha said...

O and it is flat here. No hills at all. Also you may give V a hug as well so he does not feel excluded.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Howdy Jessie doesn't chnage just charge you up? Funny that you say that about the book store. Growing up in a big family, I used to say it was calmly chaotic.

Sounds like spring is coming through there. It's warm here and everything has bloomed or is blooming. The trees in our back yard were filled with millions of white blossoms. As we sat under the embrella in delightful conversaion, drinking coffee. A strong breeze came through and blew the blossoms everywhere...it was like snow falling in a cool bright sunny morning. It was beautiful. It's now a permanent picture in my mind

We were listening to Corinne Bailey Rae's "Seasons Change" at the time. How fitting.

Amber said...

Good luck with your changes, Jessebella. Ah, how life moves...

I take the kids to th ereading time at Borders. It is AWALYS nuts! But it is the parents talking to eachother, more than the kids being wild that drives me crazy. lol

:)

Kristine said...

I agree with Martha! Maybe the change in schedule will make it so that the time you do spend writing will be more driven and directed as opposed to open ended time. In any case I am always rooting for you!

The Dream said...

"oh, i think a change, will do me good"

Maddy said...

I feel so inspired for you!

I understanding how a lot of time can
be soooo demanding in a way -
and then often I have filled up my time
with things that were not my original
intention...which can be wonderful - and yet...

i love your sense of embrace of change -
change is beautiful and hopeful and
so are you!

whenever i read of your walks with Anu I wish
even more i could walk with you -
with my dog!

i love taking my dog to the beach - along the trails
and down to the railroad tracks -

wonderful post:)

Claire said...

Good luck with the change :-)...I hope it brings many blessings and much happiness to your life.

Cxx

melba said...

Today I am celebrating you for where you are on your journey!!!!
Hooray for Jessie!!!
**********************************

I have never written a thesis (I do know other's who have),
obviously it is something Big.
I don't really know if a thesis has a due date. Not having a time line is difficult for me. That is why I make a monthly goal list and then break it down every week. This helps me alot. especially when I see the same stuff on my list every week. I don't let myself just skip it over...if I don't complete something on that weekly list I have to carry it over or change the goal (which sometimes is the realistic and necessary thing to do) I try to look over the list in the morning and then in the evening I write (on the back) what happened that day. I keep all my lists in a little binder. This keeps me (someone ) organized, productive, and sane.

Often though (like now) I read blogs instead of what I told myself I would be doing at 11:00AM. Which is make sure the bills are all up to date and our paperwork filed (in my little filing system I have:)
It is much nicer to be visiting with you!

XO,
melba