Thursday, September 11, 2008

rainy morning.

It is a cloudy morning and I am sitting here at my desk with a luscious piece of turquoise fabric drawn across the window. I am enjoying the warmth of my puppy's breath on my foot. It rained last night causing me to wake up thinking that the ceiling fan had been turned on. Such a steady rhythm, the rain. For some reason, I moved to the couch and, shortly after, was covered by dogs. I slept hard, but woke up with a headache that is threatening a migraine. For some reason, I don't even mind. There has been so much excitement in my world these past several days that I think my body was simply being kind enough to give me an excuse to keep the blinds down and curtains drawn. I ate a banana, took something for my head, and enjoyed a double espresso (my morning vice love). I am already feeling better, but am still soaking in the nested feeling of darkness and the warm glow of the lamp on my desk.

Today I am honoring my self, my body, and my work. I am honoring the fact that I need today to be quiet and to paint without interruption. I am honoring my need to shut down just for a little while in order to regroup and refill myself. I am honoring my need to dream and to listen to the rain.

This week my wildest dreams are in the process of becoming a reality. There is so much to make sense of. There is so much to figure out, to learn, to be grateful for.

My last post contains a tinge of something that I want to move away from. Maybe to call it a tinge is an understatement. It's more like a heavy weight. These days I am in the process of squaring my shoulders and facing my anxieties, with the intention of overcoming my old limitations. There is the person I was. And there is the person I am now. The person I am and the person I am becoming does not benefit from those old thinking patterns. I am beginning to understand how important it is that I take stock of where I am at, exactly, right now. That means that I have to start paying closer attention to myself. That means that I need to learn a new plan. That means that I need to face my fears head on and, in the process, move beyond what was once holding me back.

Today, in the comforting corner of this lamp lit room, I am thankful to be in a position that necessitates growth--both inwardly and outwardly.



Sharon said...

You continue to amaze me and teach me...thank you...

Anonymous said...

Beautifully written. Enjoy your day of caring for ((you)).

afiori said...

I am kind of in the same place, making a huge change in my life, and I'm glad I found your blog.

You are so smart for listening to your body. I'm not sure how to do that or how to rest. I love working and being busy but would like to know, for future use, how to just take it easy now and then...

Melba said...

You are so smart. You really know how to take care of your self.
You are such a Good listener (both to yourself and for others:))!

I miss you today! I want to know what is happening with you~ all the little details.
Lets catch up soon~

daisies said...

"there is the person i was. and there is the person i am now." i am so in this space, finding myself wanting to revert to old patterns but then finding they really don't fit anymore and that is such a good thing in so many ways ... it is good to be in the now.

this was such a beautiful piece of writing .. xo

Amber said...

You sound like you were in a cocoon today, to take care of you.

I listened to a show on hay House today, that I KNOW you would really get something from. It was this weeks Carolyn Myss show on Hay House Radio-- you can listen free on your computer, it stays up for free for a week.It really spoke to me, and made me think about some of my brave friends (like you) ;).

megg said...

Hello my friend! I loved this post - and am reading it during a day when a big headache is forcing me to be still for the first time in weeks - giggle - I'll write you a big fat email today okay?!