I feel refreshed. Revived. Relaxed. Renewed. I guess that nearly a week's worth of bathing in a lake and cooking on a campfire will do that to a person. I feel like myself again.
Lesson #1: Nourish the muse with delicious bouts of down time.
These past several months I have found myself consumed by the notion of time and how to make the best of it. I've gotten good at equating time with money. How many emails, phone calls, paintings, and meetings can I accomplish in one day? How many items can I jam pack into my to-do list? How little sleep can I endure? I've been striving for maximum efficiency but I think that sometimes it only comes at the cost of a skewed perspective. A skewed perspective too often brings with it a sense of worry, doubt, confusion, and becoming easily overwhelmed. In other words...perspective makes all the difference and there is nothing like a good vacation to put things back into balance.
I spent a lot of time this past week thinking about all the ways that I want to Be Brave. I am strangely excited for Monday and all that it marks the beginning for. I am excited by how many people are joining in on the Be Brave project and I swear I can feel the accumulation of energy already starting to swirl!
Earlier today I read a post by Kristine that really spoke to me. She writes:
"Here’s the scoop – I have been through so much hardship over the years that I just realized recently how tainted I am – how afraid I am to dream, how I look for the shoe to drop, how I am afraid, always fearful even when it’s not necessary to be. I tend to anticipate the worst and I am so very sick of having this cloud of doubt over my head. It’s draining and keeps me in a state of confusion most of the time. I know I need to shake this negativity and yet doing that involves taking risks. At the same time it is hard to take a risk when you have people around you who think your dreams are crazy and that the fact that you’d have such aspirations audacious, well more than audacious – bombastic! And then you begin to shrink back and diminish your light, while at the same time knowing that something is off, something does not feel right, knowing that a part of you is hidden and dampened. So today, I am tossing that away. I am making an effort to shrug off this sloth that drags me down... "
She continues by sharing a few of her own dreams and then asks us to share some of our own. Her words woke me up to just how much of my energy I have been giving away to worry. It seems silly, really--because, now that I'm rested, I feel weirdly removed from the rush and ridiculousness of my life. I see how much I've been letting worry leach the enjoyment from this incredible new life I've started to build for myself. I've let myself get weighed down by fretting over time and money. Simply put, this is my weak spot, my limiting factor. I get tangled up in concerns over how many commissions I have lined up and how to organize upcoming projects and events. I start planning new endeavors from a place of desperation rather than joy. Luckily, I've become keenly aware of the fact that "desperation" is nothing more than my perspective sliding off kilter--no matter how bad the situation might initially seem. This is easy enough to fix since I only have to remember...
Lesson #3: Don't be so serious all the time.
This of course leaves me at a very wonderful jumping off point. There is so much potential, happiness, and transformation to be had!
Lesson #4: Go for it!