Friday, June 27, 2008

Pure joy.

Check out the portrait I will soon be painting for the Boston Terrier Club of America! The painting will be up for auction this coming spring to raise money for rescue efforts.

I love it.

The photo was sent to me by someone that I met at last night's dog event that I helped sponsor and, in exchange, was given a booth. It was extremely hot and I was tired and I went home feeling like it was a bit of a bust. Now that I look at this photo, however, I'm beginning to think otherwise.

Some days everything just feels like one huge gamble.

But it re-dawned on me today that if I want to be really successful at this business of painting then I need to define my desires rather than being defined by anything that is not truly my desire. In other words, if I'm able to truly give myself over to my passion in complete genuineness, then my energy will attract more energy. I've witnessed this in myself over and over and over. Even so, it is sometimes easy to get caught up in the busy-ness or worries of things and end up being limited by playing it too safe. Meg recently wrote an incredible post about this same sort of thing.

I want to write more on this subject--but it is past 1 am and (ok, ok) I need to go to bed. There are so many thoughts trying to find solid ground in my head. Today I am taking stock of where I am and what direction I want to see myself headed in. There has been so much going on for such a long time. I don't remember the last time I took a day off--really off.

And so tomorrow I am granting myself a day of pretty much nothing--a whole, entire, wonderful day.

I need a day to regroup and lay in the grass. I need a day to rest and realign. I too often forget how important this is. It takes an amazing amount of energy to live authentically. I mean, I want to live from my very truest self. And, of course, there is more to this than simply vying for commissions and worrying about what I'm accomplishing, where and how I'm marketing myself, and what project comes next (much more!). Sometimes the only way to do your truest work is to take one holy day to not do any work at all. Why is that such a hard lesson for me to learn?

Anyway...tomorrow I've decided to give myself over to going to the park, cloud gazing, and pondering Meg's question: 'what would be the biggest, bravest, boldest, greatest thing I could do next? What would be the greatest thing since sliced bread?'

And then?
I'll "just do it."



Colorsonmymind said...

I am welling with tears.....and a sense of utter gratitude, for you and the way you express your process and how it goes straight to my core and becomes a solid part of my journey.

How many times can I say that I am baffled by the universe putting you there as my lifecoach and for free:) hee hee. All I have to do is read your posts my love-I swear they are priceless for me.

I was just talking to Deni about how I feel like I have been playing it safe with my portraits....focusing on the marketing, on the production etc,. How the photos that most represent me-my passion my joy my expression were taken a while back-or at least many sessions back.

As I read this I am affirmed that I want to follow my passion my truest self for that will attract more energy-more joy. I love that I can see this and know some things I can do to change it.

I am very happy you are giving yourself a day off to lay in the grass, to be.....because we all need that.

Christina said...

Your blog is such an inspiration to me. I think I have fallen in love with the day you have planned :)

I AM said...

That is the best dog picture EVER. As soon as it popped up in my reader I started laughing and I knew that it had to be from no one other than you.

I hope that you are already enjoying your perfect day and that the sun is shining and the grass is green and that you take time to imagine everything that makes your heart sing!

Connie said...

This is exactly what I needed to hear. This is exactly the stuff I've been thinking about too...and people around me have been brewing also. I just recently watched a bunch of Wayne Dyer videos over on YouTube, and posted one on my says exactly what you are saying too. Funny. There's got to be a strong truth to this, if it something universal.

Peace & Love.

zeghsy said...

"live like you were dying" is playing on the radio in the plant -- not my office, but i can hear it. totally fits the idea of this post.

thank you. i need to schedule a reclarification for me day. :)

Attaining Creativity said...

I can't add any more to the great text that you have already shared. Thank you for describing in words what I am silently finding and experiencing as I attempt this wonderful and unmapped journey to creativity.

Sharon said...

Thank you for always being so honest in your posts. You inspire me...yes, this old lady is very, very inspired by you!!! I love your bravery, your vision, your willingness to take that step into the unknown to find your path. Hugs to you!

Sacred Suzie said...

I am glad you're taking the time to breathe, let your mind go and see what happens. This is how we evolve. We do, we stop and think, we come up with the next step.

I have to say that is the cutest picture ever! I know you will come up with another work of art.

Vedrana M. said...

beautiful, i can't wait to see how you'll do portrait :)

p.s. i just remembered how we wanted to make something together and i got some ideas...

kj said...

i haven't forgotten--i;m pondering a few photos before sending them...


Jamie said...

I hope your day was absolutely delicious. And thank you for sharing the dog joy!

Sara Blackthorne said...

Miss you--will write soon. Much love!!!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post. And yes, that picture is pure joy! As you are. xo, M

Sacred Suzie said...

Happy to hear that the necklace is working for you Jessie! I hope the cleansing went well. Boy did I need it! Hope you're feeling better now.

Amber said...

I really, really love you lately. Thank you again, so much, for being so real here. Every time I come here I am hearing something I needed to hear. You are only sharing your own ride, and yet it is a gift to some of us. So thanks.

I just KNOW this adventure is going to be big for you. I just FEEL it, somehow. I think how many people loooove their dogs, and what a special nitch you are carving out...Watching you is exctiting. I think more and more ideas will come to you, and you may just blow up with all that will become. I feel it.

I wish I fet it more for my own self. LOL! I am clueless about myself. But I have faith in and for you.