Wednesday, July 27, 2005


Sometimes I like to daydream that my life is different. Not that I'm not happy, maybe just easily bored. I like occasional change, and lately my life has been lacking them. So today as I was driving home I started thinking about living in Bemidji. I was daydreaming about living in a rented house with a fenced-in yard. Anu was contentedly gnawing on a rawhide out on the back step. I painted the kitchen lime green. The cabinets were white and there was a bright yellow oncidium orchid in the window sill. The living room was warm with books and rugs and even cable tv. I had a writing room that I was still undecided on the color. blah blah blah... on it went. For some reason, in my daydream, living in town gave me a lot more time. Time to write, time to take the dog hiking in the woods, time to go places like Duluth or Minneapolis or Winnipeg or where ever I wanted to go on a whim. Not to mention, I drove a reliable car.

In my daydream, life was much much simpler. When I wrote bills it only took 4 check blanks: rent, phone, electricity, and car insurance. Not the 12 I sent out today. In my daydream I had money to buy books and clothes and a bed that doesn't leave my husband and I with abnormally formed spines.

But in my daydream, there isn't a beautiful little deer grazing just beyond the window I look out as I write. And damn it! (softly playing music screeches to a halt)--life gets complicated again.

That's it. Enough dreaming. I'm going to watch a movie.

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