living adventurously.

While in an art supply store a couple of weeks ago, I spotted a card with this quote by Eleanore Roosevelt. I immediately thought of my mom and decided that I would buy it for her. Her life has been undergoing so many transformations lately. I hope to see her spread her wings out and fly--fearlessly. But you know how it is...sometimes we need reminding. I brought the card home with intentions of sending it right away, but somehow it found itself propped up against my vision board. For two weeks it's been sitting there nestled among images of the things I've been dreaming of...a new home, a light-filled studio space, a healthier body, continued studies in art, woods and leaves, water, words...

And it didn't take long for it to dawn on me that these words are just as important for me as they are for my mom. I've been meditating on this quote ever since. Not on purpose, but because it keeps working its way up to the top of my thoughts.

These days, I've been paying a lot of attention to myself. I've been noticing my breath, the way my body holds stress...or releases it. I've been paying attention to the roles I play in life, the things I desire, and the thoughts and emotions that pass through me in the course of a day. It's been getting pretty hard to ignore that, lately, I've been doing an awfully good job at holding myself back.

I haven't finished my thesis because I'm scared of writing crap. I haven't gotten serious about getting a new job because I'm scared that I won't know how to do something new. I don't dive head first into my artwork or web design because I'm scared it might not pan out as well as I'd like it to--and, let's face it, bills need to be paid. Here I thought I was all done with being afraid of things (oh, fearless me!)...but I guess fear has a sneaky way of creating obstacles and peeking in the windows. These fears don't really feel like fear. It's much more subconscious than this. But, nonetheless, I have been holding back from the forward movement that I find myself increasingly ready for.

And that's the key, isn't it: being ready. I have been feeling so much negativity over certain circumstances of my life. Uh-em...maybe it is time for a change?

Anyway, I sat down today and wrote my mom the longest letter that I've ever written her while on the same side of the globe. It occurred to me that my mom is just as wonderful as any friend or fellow blogger and, since there is always strength in numbers, why not do this together?! I think that, in the end, that quote was really meant for both of us. There's a lot of back story that I'm leaving out, but what it boils down to is that we inspired each other to take a leap of faith, each in our own way. But it's a process, isn't it. I made space for change...but now it's time to actually create the change!

Since this morning, something inside of me has shifted.

So here it is...
When I sat down to write that letter to my mom, I decided that, starting today, I am going to do one thing that scares me every day for a month.

I recently committed to doing a painting a day for one month and well...maybe I'm on a roll. Why lose the momentum now? Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of days that I really didn't feel like painting--but energy is a wonderful thing when creative forces come together. Karen, Leah, Elizabeth, Olivia, and Sheri joined me in the commitment in making art. They kept me inspired over and over and over again. There is strength in numbers--yes, it's true!

Starting today I am committing to doing one thing that scares me every day. It can be big or small or anything in between. I might apply for a job that I think is out of my league or I might write just one paragraph of my thesis. I might try a new painting technique or go shopping for more professional looking clothes. I might take a computer class or make more of an effort to learn on my own. I might do anything...but the point is that it should feel scary or thrilling or both! Wanna join me?

What did I do today?

I committed to this.
And asked you to join me.
Which makes this commitment all the more
REAL.

What am I going to do tomorrow?

I'm going to respond to an add for a portrait artist.

After that?

That's the fun part. ;)
Who knows!