Saturday, January 13, 2007

faith in magic.

When I look around me I see stacks of books. I love books and I can't even tell you how much I look forward to reading them. And at the same time, for possibly the first time ever, I don't want to read them right now. Wary of distraction. I am enjoying the concentrated feeling of my life these past several days. I am writing--working on the "T-word" (yes, my thesis). Eeking out one slow sentence at a time. And loving every second, every minute, every day of it.

I generally write my blog posts pretty quickly. I don't know what it is, but whenever I sit down to work on a serious project I slow down to the approximate speed of molasses. However, I already know this about myself. I've been writing like that for as long as I can remember and, as long as I'm moving forward (even a little), I'm ok with that.

A couple days ago I read my horoscope after following a link on Jamie's blog. It felt especially fitting for my life these days, but one thing that stuck with me the most was a quote by Carl Sagan: "If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." Wendy Guy goes on to explain:
You are currently not only collecting the ingredients to create something wonderful in your life, you are also gathering and assembling the bits and pieces that make up those ingredients. Therefore, this is probably a much bigger job than it seems at first glance! Put another way, whatever you'’re aiming to achieve, reach or manifest in your life right now has some quality to it that is far greater than the sum of its parts, and therefore requires more effort, focus and faith than you realize.
Yesterday when I took a break to take Anu for a walk it was extra cold outside. The lines around everything seemed especially clear (a branch, a car, a curb). The ice and snow was particularly loud beneath my feet. The air felt thin. I walked through a favorite part the woods thinking about how long it's taken me to get started (really started) with this project. I found myself wondering why I hadn't just written it months and months ago. If I had started then, I would have been done by now. I rolled that thought around in my mind and then decided to let it go because...you know what? Things don't always work like that.

These days I am putting all of my energy into weaving together the strands of my life with words. I have been creating a universe, baking pie, dream weaving. And with each sentence I return a little closer to my Self.

I have faith in the magic that it takes to create anything.

**image borrowed from Science@Nasa

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi.

"I generally write my blog posts pretty quickly. I don't know what it is, but whenever I sit down to work on a serious project I slow down to the approximate speed of molasses."
Same!

Love that quote by Carl Sagan.

melba said...

Hi. I love coming to visit you. You spark imaginary conversations over coffee. Yum!
Blogs are slow today or maybe it is my computer or me. Somedays are slower than others for me. It is 1:26 in the afternoon and my children are still in their pajamas and it is raining outside. But they make me laugh. Maggie always pretends with her little figures that she is taking a dog for a walk. Or that they are dancing. so funny to listen to her while I type. Slowly hunt and pack looking at the keys. Ethan is running around the room to singing some made up songand then suddenly he tells me he is on a mission...
and I am imagining you in a coffee house typing. pausing a moment for a sip. hands clasped around a mug. Do you get a mug or paper cup when you go to a coffee house?
Hope magic comes you way today.
:)
XOXO,
Melba

Jessie said...

melba: yes, it feels like you've just sat down to drink some coffee with me. i loved reading about your afternoon...the soft sounds of you kids, ethan singing songs and declaring that he's on a mission, everyone still in their pjs...it sounds like a nice way to spend a saturday and even makes me wish for kids.

blogger has been down off and on for the past couple days. it's not you--just blogger. :)-

as for coffee--yes! i always ask for a ceramic mug. always! i hate drinking out of a paper cup when i don't have to.

magic came my way in the form of this conversation. thanks melba. i hope you had a good day also. ;)

Anonymous said...

Knowing you has brought magic to my life, sweetie. And love that quote!

Send me your phone number again...I lost my old cell phone with all of my numbers inside of it. *weeps*

Love ya,
M

Anonymous said...

wise words regarding
the apple pie and the universe...
makes sense when you
stop and think about it...

Jamie said...

What a joyful and powerful time! I'm so glad that you're savouring it and that it's nurturing you.
And what an awesome horoscope that is. It really confirms that the work you're doing is deep and wide and important. Of that, I have no doubt.

And I'm so glad that Trying a Smile made your day brighter and the day of those around you - yay! Thank you for participating *hugs*

Wow, I'm just full of gratitude this morning. Thank you also for your supportive and caring comment on my blog. It meant a lot to me.
Have a beautiful day.

Vesper said...

such a beautiful post and so so true. i love the quote and i love your response to it. it's so interesting, too, when you reach a certain moment of total clarity and you look back and realize all the intricate ways things were working themselves out. it may have seemed like chaos, when in reality it had this very fine, intricate pattern to it all....and brought you to this very second NOW....where you can feel this overwhelming adoration for creation and Self.

kj said...

you continue to inspire me, jessie. i want to be like you when i stop growing up and start heading backwards.....!

:)

Anonymous said...

hi jessie, i hope your thesis is going well...hoping the book is helping. :)

silverlight said...

toast is easy, but, it
takes time to create a really good pie.

Anonymous said...

beautiful post Jessie - i am
putting that horoscope quote on my
board -

when i read your blog i feel you
must attract magic in your life -
it's as if you are spinning magic
with your dreams and words and
sheer jessie-energy:)

hugs!

bella said...

Girl, you are just a positive force to be reckoned with. I love the idea of just letting things go. I'm doing that now, and life sort of flows easier and more steady. There is something I've been wanting to start working and I can't wait to feel and experience the magic that will go into this project.
You shine, girlfriend - you shine bright!

Anonymous said...

I love your faith...it brings me feelings of hope and eager anticipation and excitement and BELIEF that we can accomplish our dreams...we can love our dreams...we can live our lives...and yes, it take a momentous amount of effort and dedication and FAITH.
Thanks for this reminder, J! I miss you and wish I was there, walking with you and Anu through the woods.
I'm working on something for you that appears to be taking me much longer than originally anticipated...but I am so excited to complete it and send it to you. I'll keep you updated on that:)
And if you ever need to thaw out from the cold, you know you have a place to stay in the ridiculous warmth of the South:)
Love you,
td

Anonymous said...

Magic is a very important ingredient in creating anything! Sounds like you're on the right path.