Monday, November 13, 2006

monday morning random

I've been fairly diligent in posting for NaBloMoPo...even if it has only amounted to a whole load of low quality blogging. One thing that I've noticed is how incredibly sick of myself I am when I "force" myself to post when I don't actually have the time or energy to write something worth reading. Then again, I feel a bit withdrawn these days....like holing up in a warm corner of the couch and just reading books for weeks on end.

Wishing for more time to read makes me miss my travels in India. I read a lot there...and, for some reason, kept track of it. In the back of a small leather bound journal is a list, over a hundred books long. I wrote, read, meditated, did yoga, ate (too much) food, drank (never enough) tea, made friends, and read and wrote some more.

Right now I'm sitting at the coffee shop--passing time before work. Vinny drops me off on his way to teach, which gives me a full two hours of reading, writing, and people watching time before I need to be at the bookstore. There's an old man that comes here every day at 8:15. He reminds me of my grandpa. He is old, but refined. He smiles a lot and is always the first to get here before all of his friend. He finds a table and always makes sure there are enough chairs for when they arrive. Last week, while watching him, I found myself nearly in tears over how much I miss my grandpa's smile. He passed away a year and a half ago. I never realized until he was gone that he was the glue that held my dad's side of the family together. He used to pull quarters out of my ears when I was little. His name was Jack.

These two hours go by fast, but sitting here is the one thing I like best about sharing a car. Actually, it's the only thing I like about sharing a car.

I was tired this morning. So tired. The snooze went off a thousand times. Buzzing and ringing--such confusion. I stayed up last night finishing a chalk drawing for the bookstore...which makes it a worthwhile kind of tired. It makes me laugh that, these days, I'm getting PAID to do CHALK DRAWINGS!!! ha! I knew that last summer's sidewalk art would be good for something. My love for independent bookstores grows deeper every day. I will admit though, that sidewalks make a better canvas than actual chalk boards. hmm....who knew?

It is a rainy, dreary day in the city. There is a coffee cup the size of my head sitting next to me. I am oddly in love with my life today. This feeling, it comes and goes. But today...I feel like anything is possible.

...I'm looking forward to going home after work and WRITING. Not for my blog--but for real (not that blog writing isn't real). If I slip off the planet for a couple days, you'll know why. Please excuse my possible absence.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

you, my love, take care of you.

i loved the way you described your grandpa - how his name was the last detail, it summed your feelings up perfectly.

i'm glad we're online together in the mornings. i love you.

bella said...

I know exactly the days you long for and I love them too. Your mornings in the coffee shop sound so warm and fuzzy, LOL. I would be lost for those two hours.
How long did you spend in India?

melba said...

Pouring cereal into a big mug today i was thinking the same thing...how in love with my life I am. My children are plaing nicely. They had a little fight over Ethan squishing Maggie. Then they both said sorry and Ethan said I love you Maggie. My heart just swelled.
It is almost 11:00 and we are still in our Pjamas. i will get us ready soon. I feel such gratitude towards my husband who works so we can stay at home together...which allows me to meet friends like you.

Have a wonderful day Jessie. I am thinking of you.:)
XOXO,
Melba

kj said...

jessie, loved your post. i can see you sitting with your giant copy cup. write, write, alright?

kj

Loralee Choate said...

Jessie,

You ARE aware that when I come to Minneapolis in December we are going to sit down in one of these coffee shops with a big as mug of coffe, right?????

Oh, and I want to see your PAINTINGS! DROOL.

I CAN'T WAIT.

Loralee Choate said...

Wow. So I cannot spell on Lortab.

SORRY1

Jessie said...

L., i'm not only completely aware, i'm EXPECTING it! and i automatically overlook spelling errors. um...have you seen the horribleness of my comments? :)-

Anonymous said...

your writing is beautiful jessie1 I am so glad you love your life and that you can feel so much goodness and sweetness all around you!

~bluepoppy

gkgirl said...

i love those stolen moments,
too..the moments of waiting
and there is nothing else you can
be doing (laundry, dishes etc)
except to sit and read or write
and wait...
sigh.

enjoy your writing time,
:)