Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Starting over...

I just rearranged my room. That means I'm going to get something done.... writing. I look slightly to the left and see out my window. A new vantage point. From the second floor I sit looking towards the swamp, a basin filled with black spruce and tamarack. A ridge beyond of poplar and higher yet, a cluster of white pine, their arms raised to the sky like angels. Oak trees and the bare branches of chokecherry bushes are nestled in the foreground. Today is grey, the tawny browns of the field grass subdued and contrasting only with the dark budding limbs of pussy willows. Pale boulders reflect the color of clouds. Rain falls on the metal roof.

Rearranging my room, this one especially, the one I write in, makes me feel like I am starting over again. Today and for the next three... I am going to write creatively. No Virginia Woolf papers, no critical analysis, no, no, no, none of it. Just the words that come to me. Ah, the possibilities feel thrown wide open. My eyes move to the right, to the computer screen, to the left, back out the window-- a good balance for both viewing and recording life. Ravens fly past, diving, flirting, dancing through the air between rain showers. The yard is still a mess, but from here, I can't see it as well. Good, because I don't feel like doing anything about it just yet.

Today I just want to write. To write, and read, and take occasional naps. I want to start working on my thesis. But first things first. Contemporary Writers... I have a nonfiction writing assignment. I'm happy with that. I'm just hungry for something creative. Anything at all.

I feel better now that the dust has been removed. A whole year's worth of dust. My brain feels better with it gone. It's been a long year. I'll be glad when it's over. I'm looking forward to this summer, to being "myself" once again, to writing, to a schedule that is more my own. I'll have a good 8 months, from summer until next January before I have to do anything I don't want to. God, how amazing is that?

I'm looking forward to it... immensely and beyond words.

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