The Blob That Ate Up My Writing Time

My biggest fear is that I've completely forgotten how to write. Rearranging my room was a good idea in theory... just theory. I would call it writer's block, but what I have is even more severe. Crapitis-- it's feeling deadly. I think I picked up somewhere along the lines of this past year. It's been festering, but now the infection is getting worse. Good god, I no longer know how to write! I give myself the benefit of the doubt with this here blog. I know this stuff sucks but I don't really care, because it is my space for mental down-time. But working on an essay both yesterday and today has made me realize that something is seriously wrong. To evade the problem I have spent the last day and a half playing in photoshop working on a new template for this site. Vinny is very kind and has reminded me several times that this is ok, that I probably need to just let my mind go for awhile with something else. He's probably right... but it doesn't help the feeling of dismay I have over my attempts at writing. What has this past year done to me?! I miss my old brain. This new one that's moved into my skull does not work right. It's slow and stupid and doesn't think the way I want it to (or for that matter, at all). I'm feeling rather ruined and wondering if I'll ever get it back again.

This summer I plan to start writing on my thesis. And the only thing I keep thinking is: what if I can't do it?! I know, I know... chill the hell out Jessie. But honestly, I am frustrated by the turn my writing has taken. My brain is completely confused. Words no longer hold meaning. My dreams are jumbled. Ee-gads... I'm ruined!

I also realize that I'm over-reacting and therefore have no idea why I bare my soul to public scrutiny with a blog. It is all beginning to seem extremely ridiculous.

Here's the prompt if you're interested in giving it a whirl:
Take 3 disparate objects, at random, from your purse, your backpack, your shelves. Set them in front of you and begin writing, allowing 15 minutes for each object. See if there is a common image or theme you can use to bind these together.

Sounds like fun doesn't it. I thought so too. Well, if I ever get this one figured out, then it's on to the 15 pager--something on creative nonfiction. I still don't know what I'll write for that one either. Confusion has set in. I want to write creatively, my brain is thinking analytically.

By the way, my 3 objects were a sheep bell, a rock, and eyeliner. I think my forth object will have to be fire. And by the way, I'm considering the idea of never complaining on this blog again once I change the template. ha! Until then....

love,
jessie


p.s.
By the way, does anyone have a copy of Between the Acts by Virginia Woolf that I can borrow SOON?? I just realized that I don't have the book and neither does any of the bookstores or libraries. Damn.