Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Running and Writing.

Today I went running for the first time in years. Actually, I alternated between running and walking. For two miles. I left the house with high ambitions to run and then keep running...right past the pain and into mindless oblivion. I used to be capable of that. I don't know how, except that it was a long time ago. Today I wanted to run until there was nothing left to get in the way of clear thinking.

But I forgot...that it doesn't work that way. You need to work your way into it. Slowly. Diligently. You need to work at it. A little bit at a time. Every day. So I ran down the wooded trail, along the river, then to the lake. I ran down peopleless paths because it was drizzling and wet outside. And in between the running, I walked. And breathed like an asthmatic. I verged on frustration. Why am I so out of shape? But decided to be kind to myself. I decided that I will return to it tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. I'll keep returning to it until I get better. I'll push myself a little further everyday, but I won't push too hard. Just enough. I'll keep run/ walking until one day I'm able to just run. And then I'll continue running until I can do it without so much pain. Without the asthmatic panting.

Before running, I spent the morning writing. The whole time I was out on the trail I was thinking about how running and writing are the same way for me right now. Both require great patience with myself.

6 comments:

Amber said...

When I tried to start a running habit a while ago (I stopped after two weeks because it made my legs too weak to do other things, like yoga, that are more important to me), one of the things that kept me doing it was my interest in how quickly my body was adapting, how quickly it got easier. I'm sure the same will happen for you.

Kristine said...

you inspire me!

tara dawn said...

Good for you...writing a love letter to yourself, the honesty flowing like the rain that softened your path while running today. You ARE beautiful and passionate and alive; your spirit infuses others with life and love and inspiration! So much I want to say to you, but no words can express it right now...just know that you are deeply loved my dear, always!
-td

beansprout said...

Congratulations on getting out there for a run! Your body will adjust quickly to the demands you place on it. Trust that! You're doing great! Glad you feel yourself coming back.

deirdre said...

I'm not a runner, but can appreciate the feeling that your body is getting stronger and you're on your way to being fit again. I admire your ability to keep pushing and to trust your body to do what it's supposed to.

krista said...

Hey, you know, by the sounds of it, you won't be "so out of shape" for long. Good for you!