rainy morning.

It is a cloudy morning and I am sitting here at my desk with a luscious piece of turquoise fabric drawn across the window. I am enjoying the warmth of my puppy's breath on my foot. It rained last night causing me to wake up thinking that the ceiling fan had been turned on. Such a steady rhythm, the rain. For some reason, I moved to the couch and, shortly after, was covered by dogs. I slept hard, but woke up with a headache that is threatening a migraine. For some reason, I don't even mind. There has been so much excitement in my world these past several days that I think my body was simply being kind enough to give me an excuse to keep the blinds down and curtains drawn. I ate a banana, took something for my head, and enjoyed a double espresso (my morning vice love). I am already feeling better, but am still soaking in the nested feeling of darkness and the warm glow of the lamp on my desk.

Today I am honoring my self, my body, and my work. I am honoring the fact that I need today to be quiet and to paint without interruption. I am honoring my need to shut down just for a little while in order to regroup and refill myself. I am honoring my need to dream and to listen to the rain.

This week my wildest dreams are in the process of becoming a reality. There is so much to make sense of. There is so much to figure out, to learn, to be grateful for.

My last post contains a tinge of something that I want to move away from. Maybe to call it a tinge is an understatement. It's more like a heavy weight. These days I am in the process of squaring my shoulders and facing my anxieties, with the intention of overcoming my old limitations. There is the person I was. And there is the person I am now. The person I am and the person I am becoming does not benefit from those old thinking patterns. I am beginning to understand how important it is that I take stock of where I am at, exactly, right now. That means that I have to start paying closer attention to myself. That means that I need to learn a new plan. That means that I need to face my fears head on and, in the process, move beyond what was once holding me back.

Today, in the comforting corner of this lamp lit room, I am thankful to be in a position that necessitates growth--both inwardly and outwardly.

~