Abundance, revisited.

I stayed up until nearly 2 am last night working on a collage. Every week we are given homework for Circe's Circle and this week I gave myself the assignment to create a collage since I've been wanting to do one for months now, but just haven't taken the time to actually do it.

After seeing Melba's Vision Cards, despite the late hour, I felt a surge of inspiration and without a moment's hesitation I took that energy directly downstairs to my studio and got to work. I'm glad I did it because this morning when I woke up it was one of the first things I saw upon entering my office and it sort of took my breath away. You know that feeling when you get a really serious haircut or a dramatic new color? Yes, it sort of felt like that. And it felt good.

When I began I wasn't sure what I wanted the collage to be about or what it would include. I simply collected images from magazines and items laying around my studio space. I was looking for things that resonated with me. There was one word in particular that kept replaying in my head: ABUNDANCE. Seems like I've been carrying that word around with me for awhile now and since that was the thought that I was most attracted to, it is largely what the collage came to reflect.

I chose images that were ripe, heavy, bulbous, and earthy. Over and over I found myself most attracted to deep, rich, vibrant colors. I was looking for things that made me feel alive, grounded, energetic. The images I chose do not surprise me all that much--except for the word "home." For some reason I wasn't expecting that to come out of last night's collage even though it is, indeed, a deep desire I carry within me. The images in this collage make me feel a profound sense of fullness and satisfaction. That is, after all, what I'm after these days.

There are a lot of ripe fruits and voluminous bulbs and gourds, a butterfly and bee, heavy with nectar. There are densely blooming flowers, a young girl running in the ocean's tide, dogs, glowing timbers of a house under construction, a 10 Rupee note from India, and a handwritten reminder that reads: anything is possible when you believe.

I ended up putting the whole thing in a frame that I got last fall. It's been sitting in the basement ever since, waiting for the perfect something that I was never able to materialize until now.


Today, quite honestly, was a challenging day. Tuesdays have been like this for me lately because it is the day before my "work week" begins and the last day in a series of three to get a lot of painting, paperwork, and errand running accomplished. I have a hard time switching gears between my artist's life and my work life. Not that the artist's life isn't work. To be sure, it is. But it is work that I truly enjoy--even the parts that don't require me to have a paintbrush in my hand. There is so much more to making a living as an artist than simply making art! Oh, but I posses a strange love for all of it. Needless to say, Tuesday rolls around and I start to feel the drowning water of Wednesday begin to rise. Because I am never able to accomplish as much as I would have liked to, Tuesday is the day that I start to feel stretched too thin.

But soon...soon things will fall into place and I will be able to focus my energies in ways that will serve my sense of well being more completely. There has already been much abundance that has entered into my life. Its form has taken many shapes and, for this, I am thankful. When I take a step back from the overwhelming details of my day I see that, like the images in this collage, my life is very beautiful. The best part is that I truly, truly believe that all of these things will come into my life--this ripeness, this color, this sense of home, naturalness, money, and play. Someday soon I will look back at this time and think: Wow. I knew all along! I just need to remind myself of this...especially on days when it feels like I don't know anything at all.

Namaste
~