among other thoughts...weimaraners in sepia and blue

"Blue Dog"
9" x 12"
Oil on Canvas
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"Swan Dog"
9" x 12"
Oil on Canvas
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"Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live."
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Today I finished two more paintings--weimaraners in sepia and blue. These came as a surprise to me since I am not usually drawn to paint in monochromatic color schemes. One section just sort of led to the next and, I must admit, I enjoyed the process immensely. I'm now at the end of my three days off from work (such a luxury!) and I find it hard to wrestle myself away from the pleasures of painting. I have been reminding myself, however, that this discontent is a sign of energy--and, although I lack patience, I am very aware of the changes taking place under the surface of my life. Well, actually, I think it broke through the surface a couple weeks ago.

I've been reading Sarah Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance and, of discontent, yesterday's entry read:

"What is going on is part of the process. I call it Divine Discontent. It is the grit in the oyster before the pearl. This creative second chance is when we come into our own. When we finally claim our own lives and wrestle our futures from fate. When we learn how to spin straw into gold. When we realize gratefully that we can live by own lights if we access the Power. Ask for it. Claim it. Today."

Lately I've been noticing myself daydreaming a lot about studio spaces. Actually, there are a few things I've been daydreaming pretty heavily about. I've also been thinking a lot about things like ABUNDANCE and SELF-CONFIDENCE. I'm experiencing growing pains and absolute happiness all at once. It is such a strange and interesting combination of elements. I'm also doing a bit of MYTH-BUSTING--you know, breaking down all those myths and weird beliefs that hold me back. This, too, is a process. Last night, during our Circe's Circle conference call, I was talking about how Minnesotans don't spend very much money on art. After hanging up, it dawned on my that I have no idea why I held that belief. I mean, where did I come up with that idea?

In no uncertain terms, my molecules are shifting in more ways than one. I suppose you could say that letting go of certain ways of thinking seems to have a way of doing that. Needless to say, I like thinking about who I would be without any of the limiting beliefs that I let hold me back. I like thinking about who I would be if I trusted my instincts. I like thinking about what it means to live an authentic life. And most of all...I like knowing that I am moving towards a life that is everything it was meant to be--even if it just one step at a time. Every step counts!