Monday, August 13, 2007

color theory:

I've started working on my fifth painting in four days and, I must say, it feels incredible. I feel like a part of me has returned to myself. I know I've mentioned this before, but this past year I haven't really "allowed" myself to get too far involved with painting for fear that I wouldn't accomplish anything else. Don't get me wrong, I've done plenty of artwork, but always for someone else (for work or commission). Luckily, I came to my senses and (finally) said screw it to my self-imposed ban on painting.

My newly established rebellion includes working on little 6"x6" canvases. They're manageable. I can complete a painting in an hour or two, the only problem being that I don't want to stop! I take the dogs for a walk or drive to the store or walk across the kitchen and am overcome with "oh! I could paint that! and that! and that!..." I love it. I love it when I am able to fall far enough into the creative chasms of my mind, whether it be through writing or painting, that absolutely everything and anything becomes potential material. I especially love it when , even when I close my eyes, all I see is a shifting world of color. In this way, I think my brain has a tendency to get saturated. My brain is starting to feel absolutely soppy with color. Feels good.

In other news, I'm quite positive that I'm going to die from pneumonia or whatever it is that seems to have taken over my body. Today I had a coughing fit so severe that I was sure my eyeballs might pop out or that I'd crack a rib. Luckily, neither happened. But, honestly, somethings gotta give. I've been under a lot of pressure lately to accomplish a whole lot all at once. I would love to visit a witch doctor or shaman or saddhu or someone wise who might tell me exactly what is wrong and why. My body has made every noble attempt possible to let me know that what I need most is SLEEP in order to get better. And what have I done? Well, I've ignored myself. I'm feeling a bit battered and bruised by life--well, my lungs do anyway. How is it that I always seem to get in the way of myself?

Anyway, getting back into painting is a good start. It is reminding me how to be a little bit kinder to myself. It smooths out the bumps and helps clarify my daily list of priorities. Maybe tonight sleep will be at the top of that list.

ps.
I'll post photos later in the week. ;)

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

miss you, jessie. i hope you feel better soon. ~ruby

Maddie said...

Jessie!

i am soooo excited about your
painting - and the size sounds
so perfect - i have a million little
corners where i would love to have a
a lovely painting so i can't wait
to get my eyes on your etsy:)

Jessie - fall is just around the
corner with it's fresh crisp air and
crimson swirls of color and
longing for hand knit mittens
and chai - you will have your energy and health for fall
- and a new found understanding
as your beautiful artistic
mind is allowed to roam more
freely

love ya:)

Trish Ryan said...

That's really exciting. I'm so glad there are folks Iike you who can create in that way - it makes the world a better place :)

deirdre said...

I can just imagine the creative swirl that's spinning in your mind right now. How lovely to have so much inspiration all around you.

Hope you feel better soon. Those coughing fits are horrendous.

megg said...

Okay so I love the colour wheel one - so beautiful!!!!!!

and I want you to go to BED... NOW... take care of you okay.

thinking of you!!

laundrygirl said...

This sounds so great - the paintings, the inspiration, the contentment. Wow, I can't wait to see it all when you post pics!

Melba said...

You are so smart...you already know your body is telling you to sleep! I know it is difficult to listen to myself, even when I know...I don't really know exactly why.
Listen...take care of you!
XO,
melba

Amber said...

I really like the color wheel. Simple and pretty.

Will you just SLEEP already?? For fucks sake, girl-friend! When you need to sleep to get well, it is just what you need to do. Think of it as the most holistic medicine you can give yourself. Your body and mind will heal. Thinkof the painting you will do when you feel better! Dreams will feed your art, and sleep will feed your cells.

Now, as I say to my kids: Good night! I mean it! Don't make me come in there! Do you hear my voice? I am not kidding!

;)

Elizabeth said...

Sleep, sleep rest and more sleep, fresh air, good food and hugs for you girl! Get better soon.

I've decided to join in with the pledge to do something creative evryday for 1 month - God knows I need it. So Rock-On you cool chick, for inspiring me, again! Thanks Jessie :-) Lizzi

Loralee Choate said...

Ack! The hacking thing is worrying me. You do need more sleep. All the accomplishments in the world ain't gonna matter if you land your cute little rear end in the hospital!

REST. DOCTOR. DO IT.

tara dawn said...

So proud of your daily dedication to painting...and I cannot wait to see them! But girl, I'm gonna play mama here for a minute and say "get some sleep...rest...eat well...drink plenty of fluids". I hate to hear of you feeling so sick...sending healing prayers and wishes to you from GA.
xoxo