I also want to tell you that there has been some good news. My aunt was going to be sent home from the hospital, but it seems that there is a bit of a MIRACLE in progress! They did another bone biopsy and found that something good is happening with her cells. The bone marrow transplant seems to be taking hold! I don't really feel like going into a complete description of her leukemia and how it progresses or goes into remission--but the point is that something WONDERFUL is happening! And I can't help but believe that it is HER who is making it happen.
Granted, there are still a lot of unknowns and risks and dangers ahead...but, dang! Sometimes I am blown away by the power of mind/body/spirit. Miracles have the ability defy explanation. And miracles, I'm coming to believe, are little more than energy in action.
I guess that's why I came here today...to tell you that. I'm excited by life and all that we are capable of manifesting.
These days, V. and I are waiting to see if we can get funding for a house. It's a nerve-racking experience, but I am making my best attempts at keeping my energy focused in positive directions. Yesterday, while waiting for the loan officer to call back, instead of letting anxiety tie my stomach in knots, I worked on a collage of the home that V. and I are interested in. I sang softly to myself a made-up song about our new life in that home. Louie and the cats loved it--all three of them wandered and rubbed up against my legs as I worked. Singing is breathing--and it helped immensely to calm my mind.
Who knows what will happen...all I know is that my life has involved a lot of living and breathing and painting lately. It has involved a lot of friendship and learning and inspiration.
When I imagine Vinny's and my future home, I imagine a sign above the door that says "love lives here." The sign is eclectically hand-made. Well, everything about the house is a bit eclectic. I imagine a garden with lots of vining vegetables--string beans, sweet peas, zucchini, pumpkins. I imagine tomatoe plants that grow tall and heavy with plump fruit. I imagine a secret garden where there are a plethora of ferns, moonflowers, echinacea and other flowering wonders. I imagine walking out into that yard every morning with a cup of coffee and my journal-- a place where I start my day without interruptions. I imagine an art studio tucked under the trees--that is, the sort of studio that makes me drool with happiness!
I imagine enchantment. And a family made of a husband and dogs and maybe even babies.
I imagine a place where love lives.