Grow.

Yesterday I spent a large portion of my day beginning work on my largest commission, to date. The stack of boxes full of canvases stretching from floor to ceiling has been a bit intimidating, but it felt good to finally get started on it. For the next couple weeks I will be taking a side-step away from my pet portraits and will be focusing on a series of 25 (18"x18") canvases, each with a letter of the alphabet inspired by vintage wood, metal, and Las Vegas boneyard signs.

The finished piece will hang in a nearly 8 foot x 8 foot square on a huge beautiful wall of a designer's studio/office space. Wanna know the best part? My artwork will be sharing a home with THREE Bloomsbury orginals!!! And if you're not familiar with the Bloomsbury Group, they were the wonderfully wild group of artist and writer friends who Virginia Woolf hung out with. I realize that this makes me a complete and utter literary geek, but someone please pinch me! As a grad student I spent an entire semester intensely studying the Bloomsbury Group's work and writing essays about the influences that occur between visual art and writing. And now my art is going to be next to their art?? In my book, that counts as a compliment to the highest degree!!

Anyway, when all is said and done, I'm looking forward to having giclee prints made of the letters and trying my luck with them on Etsy. I'm enjoying this feeling of having several baskets full of eggs (versus having all my eggs in one basket). Although the commission alone is enough to make me happy, it would be nice to have a gift that keeps on giving, so to speak. That is, a source of income that doesn't require me to be constantly producing new work--especially at times when I need a break, am working on a project that doesn't produce instant income, or when I get backed up with other commissions.

One thing I'm learning is how to manage both my flow of energy and flow of income. Maybe it's because these endeavors feel so fresh and new and exciting, but I'm having a lot of fun with this--mostly because I'm beginning to realize just how much I get to create my own reality. I realize that I might sound like I'm regurgitating Law of Attraction philosophies, but (holy cats!!) it's FOR REAL!! Ok, ok, in all honest, I occasionally start doubting myself, my art, my dreams...BUT the second I let go of those thoughts and simply get back to work, things start flowing again. It's down right weird.

Granted, I find it difficult to simply turn off my negative thoughts, as though they were a light switch. However, every time I just set my thoughts aside and return to my studio or do whatever needs to be done, the ball starts rolling once again. On Tuesday I went and talked to my boss about hiring another employee because I wasn't sure how much longer I would be able to work there and I don't want to leave her in a pinch during her busiest season. Mind you, I've been putting that conversation off for months now because I was, well...afraid. Now that all is said and done I'm left wondering what I was really so afraid of. She was absolutely understanding, thankful, supportive, and hopeful for me. I cut back to 2 days a week in May with the understanding that even that might not last much longer.

When I got home I found an email for a new commission in my inbox. Later in the day I met 3 dog trainers, 2 of whom want me to paint their dogs and know of several other people that would be interested as well. It amazes me how taking a step forward, no matter how big or small, is all it takes for the Universe to crack open and rain gifts.

These days, I am growing--as an artist, a dreamer, a thinker. I have a new word in my active vocabulary and it is: entrepreneur. I don't know why, but I'm really loving that word these days. I barely even know how to spell it! But I love the way it feels, the way it sounds, the way I have to consciously make my mouth muscles move through its unfamiliar word shape.


There were certain concepts that struck me most deeply during the past 3 months of participating in Circe's Circle. They are:

ABUNDANCE.
FREEDOM.
AUTHENTICITY.

And that is what the word "entrepreneur" represents for me. It is an avenue, an opportunity, a path. The part I love the most is how I get to make it look any way I want. Well, actually, we all get to do that. I just didn't realize it until recently. ;)

(Louis, my studio-mate and business partner)

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