Worst birthday ever turned good.

"It is never too late to be what you might have been." ~George Eliot.

Today is part 2 of my birthday. I'm not sure if that's legal, but my real birthday (yesterday) was the worst one I've ever had and well...I decided to give it a second chance. After all, there's something about this year that feels important--and I want it to start out the right way.

Yesterday had great potential except that I woke up sicker than a dog and, to make matters worse, had to work all day at the garden shop. I had originally looked forward to it, but instead I spent the day being miserable and tired and weepy. I survived it. But I might have been better off never leaving my bed. Last night I sat down at my computer to write about it and let's just say that when I woke up this morning I was glad I hadn't. Maybe some things are just better left unsaid.

I do, however, want to tell you what was good about yesterday... and one of those those things goes by the name of "Saturnalia"...which is our neighborhood holiday celebration hosted, in part, by our garden shop.

They blocked off the street and celebrated by filling everybody up with freshly roasted chestnuts (which brought be straight back to the streets of Italy--taste bud heaven!), hot chocolate and cider, cookies, smores and hot dogs. We built several bon-fires on the sidewalks and in the street; there were face-painters and hay-rides; Santa climbed DOWN the coffee shop's chimney; there were puppets on stilts and dancing snowmen; the air was filled with wood smoke and the steady beat of the Women's Drum Corp; there was dancing in the street; people brought their dogs and kids. It was really quite incredible and made me feel the stirrings of love for my new neighborhood and their pagan-esque celebrations. And even though I felt like hell there was a part of me that thoroughly enjoyed it. The drumming, the dancing, the weather, the general happiness...it was pretty cool.

See...when I write about it in this way, it makes it sound like a good day. Never mind the rest because...what it boils down to is that it's all a matter of perspective, isn't it. Maybe I feel better about yesterday because I'm looking at these photos or because of the really incredible sleep I got last night. I don't know...but today I feel much better--which is why I've self-proclaimed today as my birthday also. hey--why not? Yesterday I let myself get knocked over by my own personal tidal wave of shitness and today I decided to stand myself up again. Today...well, today has been better than yesterday by a million miles.

Some of the best things about turning 32:

• an e-mail from bee
• birthday wishes from ruby
  
• an e-card from my fellow sagettarian jamie
• loralee's voice singing me happy birthday on the phone
• waking up to find presents from my husband sitting on my desk
• reading his wonderful card
  
• phone calls from family
• going out for spicy hot indian cuisine (soul food for sniffles!)
  
• good conversation and mochas with mardougrrl...and a bag full of really perfect presents (i'm spoiled!) ;)
• coming face to face with the biggest buck i've ever seen--in my front yard!! (yes, my life is surreal like this, but i'm serious)
• blog comments
  
• much needed sleep
  
• 
• neighbors coming to visit me at the garden shop--yes, people actually came just to see me! (it made me feel loved)
• going music shopping with my husband (the rest of his gift to me...i should write more about this later)
• pancakes
• dog kisses
• husband hugs
  
• nice clean fluffy fleece sheets and the best sleep ever!
• dreaming about dogs
• sunny weather
• a long walk
• frozen lakes
  
• going sweater shopping and finding something cozy that i liked!
• an incredibly patient husband who survived my day of moods and still loves me anyway
• russian tea cakes
• champaign
• a new candle
• good coffee
  

Hell yeah...I guess it was a pretty damn good birthday...despite false starts.