Monday, October 31, 2005

"fall back"

take anu for a walk... or go back to bed? grey day. so hard to decide.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

news from a small world

3 bombs exploded on Saturday in Delhi--one of them in Paharganj--where I stayed each time in Delhi. I'm reminded, once again, that this world is not only fragile, but small.

Today, from my journal:
Paharganj. The street outside has been breathing with motion all day. Not like the antiseptic and methodical business I know of home. No, the movements of Paharganj are filled with dust, and life, and color. Coming home from the market, I was swept away by the tide--a swell of pressing, human current that brought me to the heels of a small woman wrapped in a python. Its cold strength close enough to murder me. Nothing like the charmed cobra that entranced me earlier today. A tide of sensation--—assaulted by life and death, beauty and apprehension in each step. This is Paharganj, where the soft sounds of mixing flour and water for chapatis fill the air and drift through windows, delicately, before being dissolved by the commotion of a city filled with eight and a half million people...

(interesting what a tense shift will do to the mind.)

And a painting, so big I don't know what to do with it:

It is a culture that has changed very little, yet tremendously, in the last several thousand years. I wonder-- what will be different when I return?

my "writing room"

So here I am--
starting over with a less complicated life. It is my first time sitting down, in this new room, to write.

Outside my window grey skies filter through the green of pine needles; sporadic sunshine catches what is left of maple leaves. There is the occasional whir or rumble of traffic outside, but mostly it is only quiet. The bright red trim of Lauren and Sean's house is, for some reason, alive and comforting. And beyond their rooftop, another pine reaches farther into the sky. This is "city" life. But it aint all bad. In this room I feel surrounded not only by nature, but by India. I return to writing life--this time, without reluctance.

I have my candles and tea and a new journal for the new direction my life is about to take. On the inside cover it reads:

"Inspirations. In her dreamtime she found inspiration. She savored her sleep for the wealth of ideas, images and solutions that waited for her there."

In this place I will return to the dreamtime, long walks, lingering thoughts. Life has made me tired. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I am amazed by how much I've aged-- not just in the last couple years, but in the past several weeks. Exhausted-- there are times I barely recognize myself.

But this pine tree and all the walking--I do, believe it or not, feel myself returning to me. May life never run away from me again.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Saying goodbye.

Thank you to the South--for the brilliant colors and change of seasons.
Thank you to the West--for the most incredible sunsets I have ever seen.
Thank you to the North--for enough northern lights to fill a lifetime.
Thank you to the East--for an ocean of leaves, the sunrise... and new beginnings.

Thank you Anu--for teaching me adaptability.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

The moving has seriously begun...

...considering the only thing we have left at our (old) house are the rugs, 2 cats, 1 dog, a refrigerator full of food, and 10 bags of garbage...ok, and a few misl. items as well (where the hell does all this misl. keep coming from???).

Anyway... no computer at (either) home for a couple of days. Life in a box is strange. I figure if I keep working hard, without too much rest, I'll exhaust myself enough that I won't bawl my head off the last time I close that door. Selling this place is probably the stupidest thing I have ever done. Necessary, but stupid.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Earthquake in India...

Listening to the radio as I drove home last night I heard about the earthquake in India. My hand flew to turn up the volume with "oh-my-god" speed. This is not the first time I've feared for the safety of my Ladakhi family. Nor will it probably be the last. While in India, I lived with a family in a remote village of the Himalayas. Over the course of a month and a half they became my real family. I love them and miss them. And am grateful beyond words that they are ok.

God I miss them!

Saturday, October 08, 2005

"BIG" dreams

While surfing for a good deal on canvas...look what I found! 160" aluminum and wood stretcher bars (that won't warp!!!).

THAT'S 13 AND A HALF FEET! Oh-- can you imagine?!?! That much stretched canvas is an artist's dream (well mine anyway)! I'm drooling. But (for now) I might have to settle for the 48"-60" range.

Once again, all is quiet on the gallery homefront.

Oh blessed Saturday, how I love thee.

But I am soooo tired...soooo stiff... I would like to crawl under this desk and sleep like a cat. But I remain upright in my attempt to remain (at least slightly) professional. Needless to say, there is some pretty good art up this month. If I actually owned a digital camera I would post pictures of my favorites...but I don't. I would link to the BCAC site...but why bother? It hasn't been updated since last May. I wish I would have actually remembered something from Web Design class. I would update it myself. But my mind is a technological sieve... and I don't have a camera... or permission. blahblahblah. Yeah- I told you I was tired!

This evening I will unload another van-load of stuff. Then I'll paint our bedroom. "Whale." That's blue-gray to you humans. In the meantime... I'm beginning to feel like I'm floating.

Over and out.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Tonight the sky is a Turner painting. Tidal waves of black clouds washing away a blue sky only to break apart and reform themselves in new configurations of light and dark.

I just returned from hiking with wolfie. Several hours of tromping in the wet woods behind my house. Dang, how many people can literaly hike for hours and not see a soul-- in their back yard? I can. I didn't want to turn back home, thinking that it might be my last opportunity to walk these woods. Very soon it will no longer be my back yard. I force myself to return to the present...

It was cold and wet and wonderful. I kept finding myself stopped and trying to memorize the trees and skies. I couldn't do it. I had to give up and just breath it in. Eventually Anu and I got "unlost" and returned home where I just finished the best bowl of Indian style lentil soup with fresh tomatoes in my life. Mmmm--cold day, long walk, warm soup. I could be happy this way.

SnowSnow! I saw snow!

At 6:58 this morning, as I rounded the corner between Bridgeman and Hagg-Sauer, floating gently from the dark sky into the orange glow of an outdoor light-- was snow!

Oh today is a good. The first snow fall--my favorite day of the year!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

aniversario numero dos

2 dozen apricot colored roses
dinner including:
a shared meal,
and triple chocolate desert
the yearly photo
dancing to our wedding song.

Life is good.

Happy Anniversary Vincenzo!

Well, well--look what I found.

My first blog. Back when I went by the name of Iris Rain. I miss her.

and am reminded...
"Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

They're talking snow.

But I fear not.
We are as tough as last year's brussel sprouts.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Yellow Marigold and Oregano.

I've spent the last several days...uh... god, where to begin? I'm not sure it's interesting enough to recap.

The move has begun.

Friday involved moving the basement... or at least a load that reached from front to back, and top to bottom of the mini-van. That's only half of it and I'm amazed at the amount of stuff I have accumulated down there. But after reorganizing it is magically seeming to fit in 1/10 of the space. Plastic totes are a good thing (I suppose).

Saturday involved painting my new "Writing Room" Marigold Yellow. It took an entire day. I did the ceiling, the trim, the doors, the walls. And then when I was done I felt like I was going to have a heart attack from the intensity of the color. My eyes bugged out and I started talking faster and faster to all that visited. I went home that night and had nightmares... all involving Marigold Yellow. Bummer. It was such a beautiful color-- but it had to go.

Then came Sunday and V. and I spent half the day driving to Grand Rapids to sell a painting. I was hoping to come home with an $800.00 check, but instead only came home with a half a tank of gas and nothing to show for it except a beautiful new journal that I found (and should not have bought) from Brewed Awakenings. The guy that wanted to buy it is from the cities-- a professor of architecture at the U of M. He brought his art collector friend with to help him make the decision to buy or not-- and they decided that the brick color of his wall would not do my painting justice. I thought--fuck that-- $800 bucks would do my painting justice! But whatever. I was dealing with "the big guns"-- REAL art buffs. You know, the kind that know what they're talking about and know what they're looking at. The art collector told me that I was a good painter-- a really good painter-- and that is rare because there aren't many. Well thank you for the compliment. But I went home poor. The rich architect went on his merry way completely oblivious to our own busy schedule and the time we sacrificed just so he could "look" at the painting again. Argh. Ok... he's still interested. Who knows. Maybe I will still sell it. Geez, and we drove right through Deer River and couldn't even stop to say hi to Audrey cuz we didn't know her #. Damn. What a waste-- I tell you!

Instead, V. and I spent the drive home arguing about riduculous things--namely, my thesis. To be honest, I'm completely stressed and a little freaked out about the whole thing. So-- unable to cope with the complexites of graduating... after returning home I drove BACK into town and painted into the dark hours of the night a wonderful Oregano green. Oh yes-- this is the color of inspiration. I WILL write that thesis!

I slept not nearly enough and this morning rushed to town to deposit money to avoid impending bouncing of checks (reminder to self: balance your damn checkbook more often!). Then cleaned the new house with my mom for a few hours.

It smells like oranges now (verses old, spilled beer).

At the moment I should be grading papers... but instead I've just spent nearly a half hour filling you in on my oh so (not) interesting life! Oh----but the green is not boring!!!!

Did I mention that moving is a LOT of damn work?! Oh yeah, you all know that. And it will be a miracle if I graduate--but yes vinny, miracles DO happen-- so there.

By the way, tomorrow's our anniversary. :)